What if everything goes right?

The art of preparing for the best.

Dear Kula Diaries,

I’m just like most humans: I spent most of my life not pursuing the things that excited me because of one thing… fear of the unknown and of an imaginary set of ‘what-ifs’ that prevented me from trying anything that sounded exciting. I always had ideas… I just never did anything with the ideas. I started teaching backpacking classes about a decade ago, and I noticed something about my students: they came to me with a lot of fears about backpacking. At first, I did what was expected of me: I taught them how to prepare for and expect the worst. But somewhere along the way, I realized that there was a better method… what if I could encourage them to be prepared by focusing on all the things that could go right! I started including exercises in my classes where the students would visualize the best case scenario for their backpacking trip… and do you know what? It happened! My students went out into the backcountry feeling confident… their trips went well… and they were all fully prepared to handle anything that arose along the way.

I’m sad to say that I have not expected the best many times in my life… particularly as a business owner and very normal human being.

Here is a non-comprehensive list of what-ifs that have prevented me from doing things in my life:

• What if I fail?

• What if people laugh at me?

• What if people think this is stupid?

• What if nobody buys it?

• What if I can’t pay my bills?

• What if my business fails?

• What if this is a huge mistake?

• What if other people are already doing it?

• What if I am a disappointment?

• What if I don’t know how to do this?

• What if I can’t figure this out?

• What if it doesn’t continue to be successful?

• What if I’m just being an idiot?

Recently, I’ve been on a roll with my morning abundance walks and I decided to create a new what-if list… a list of all of the things that might go right:

• What if my business is an amazing success?

• What if I love what I’m doing and have fun every single day?

• What if I get to work with my husband and have a blast doing it?

• What if my pee cloth business gets featured on National Television?

• What if I am able to contribute a tremendous amount of good to millions of people around the world?

• What if I’m actually able to make a difference in people’s lives?

• What if I get to wake up every single day and LOVE what I do?

• What if I get to live in my dream house and spend time with my cats?

• What if I get to ride my motorcycle and go places that I’m excited about on a regular basis?

• What if my life is filled with beautiful opportunities for connecting with others?

• What if I am abundant beyond my wildest imagination and what if I can share that abundance with the entire world around me?

• What if my company grows into something big and sustainable that changes the lives of many people?

• What if something amazing and unexpected happens tomorrow?

• What if new ideas continue to flow in fun and exciting ways?

Over the past few months I’ve been spending a dedicated period of time … every single morning… talking out loud about the things in my life that I’m grateful for and about the feeling that I want to create and attract in my life. What does this look like for me? Well, I’ll set the stage: it’s dark, and I’m usually hiking by the light of my headlamp. I hike to the top of the hill above my house, and once I’m hiking back down… I just start talking. I usually start with the following mantra, which I’ve been repeating almost daily for a few years now:

And then, I talk about all of the things in my life that I am grateful for… I spend time noticing and feeling each one of them. I pinpoint the feelings that I want to feel in my life… and I describe (out loud) the things that feel that way. For instance, if I want to experience the feeling of relief… I’ll describe the feeling and speak about things that make me feel relieved. Here’s an example:

I love the feeling of relief. I feel relieved and at ease when I wake up in the morning and I get to walk outside in the dark. It’s cold and I’m here alone — it’s just me and I walk and listen to the sounds of the birds. I dance outside in the morning and then sometimes I come back into the house and I lay down in bed again… I can feel myself sinking into my bed and lying in my bedroom without feeling like I need to do anything or be anywhere at all. I lay in bed for awhile and I sometimes just look out the windows at the stars. I feel my husband sleeping next to me and I feel the cats taking up far too much space in the bed. I can feel my shoulders relax and I can feel my entire body breathe a big sigh of relief. Nowhere to be… nowhere to go… I can just be right here, right now. I can take my time. I can enjoy feeling good. I can feel the peace of being exactly where I am.

As I walk down the hill, I often find myself getting more and more energetic about what I’m talking about… it usually gets to a point where thoughts and feelings are flowing and colliding and creating something that feels like a whirlwind of good energy. There’s usually a point on my walk when I can simply feel the aliveness radiating from my body — and I love it. It’s usually at this point in the walk when I’m exuberantly talking out loud to the deer and the rabbits, “Everything is possible! Abundance and love and creativity flow to me and all I have to do is find this feeling and enjoy it!”. I felt silly the first few times I did this… but now, it’s the best part of my day.

Nobody ever tells us, “Expect everything to go right.” Instead, we are inundated on a daily basis with all of the things we need to be terrified about and the million and one ways in which everything can and will most likely go wrong. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t plan for things to happen… this isn’t a suggestion to be reckless or irresponsible. Instead, it’s an invitation to be open to a different way of carving out your own little nook of the universe. It’s an opportunity to ask yourself this question: What happens if I expect everything to go right?

No amount of worrying or fretting or panicking or freaking out or feeling stressed or agitated has ever brought me any clarity. I have never felt better when I try to ‘fix’ the imaginary ‘what-if’ scenarios in my head that haven’t even happened. I have never allowed abundance to flow into my life in easy and surprising ways from a place of being frantic. In fact, stirring up ‘the problem’ usually makes it worse. Spending all of my time focused on what I don’t want… creates a lot more of… you guessed it… exactly what I don’t want. It is a never ending cycle of focusing and creating more… until you realize that you have the power to choose your thoughts deliberately.

What does this mean? It means that I can choose to focus on the infinite good that exists around me in every moment. It means that I can choose to focus on the feelings of the things that I want to create in my life. From a place of intentional self-awareness, I can notice the thoughts that are present within my consciousness… and I can choose to focus on the feelings that I want to cultivate. And, through the cultivation of those feelings, I can — like a very powerful magnet — attract the things that I want into my life.

Just trying to attract and create the good stuff!

It feels an awful lot like magic, but I promise you that it isn’t. I’m going to share a bit of a woo-woo story about the power of intentional focus… and then I’ll give you a homework assignment to test it out on your own between now and next week (where I will be returning to our deep-dive into the topic of abundance).

In the early stages of my own exploration with meditation, self-awareness, conscious presence and learning how to choose and focus my thoughts and feelings… I decided that I wanted to ‘test’ the process. In order to do this, I chose a physical object that was very easy for me to think about… without having any limiting beliefs about whether or not this ‘thing’ would be difficult to find or not in my life experience. What did I choose? I selected a peace sign… and blue glass. Honestly, I’m not sure why — it was just the first thing that popped into my head. At the time that I decided to try this ‘experiment’, my husband and I were riding on a Washington State Ferry and we were sitting in my little Honda Fit while the ferry crossed the Puget Sound. “Let’s think about blue glass and a peace sign!”, I told Aaron enthusiastically. I’m lucky enough that Aaron doesn’t balk at my ‘hairbrained’ (my dad’s word) ideas… and he agreed. We both closed our eyes and we spent about 10 minutes focusing on the image of a peace sign and blue glass. I imagined seeing them… and then I imagined how much fun it would feel when they appeared in my sphere of awareness.

And that was it. We thought about the peace sign and blue glass — and laughed a little bit afterwards, but mostly… we just felt good about it. Over the course of the next few days we would casually remark about the peace sign and the blue glass… and I felt a sense of eager expectation for them to arrive. I felt like I was excited and ready for them to show up in a surprising and fun way.

About two weeks after our meditative ferry ride… it was Christmas Day. Aaron and I were opening gifts in the morning, and my mom had sent us a box with a few presents in it — some were for me… a few were for Aaron… and there was one gift that was marked, “For Aaron and Stacy*” (*my nickname that my family uses for me). We both sat on the floor and opened the gift together… and as I peeled back the wrapping paper and opened the small box… I let out an audible gasp. I cannot make this up: It was a peace sign… painted onto a piece of glass that had been painted blue. “NO FREAKING WAY!!!”, I yelled in delighted shock. Aaron shook his head, “You told your mom, didn’t you?”. I looked back at him, “No… seriously, I promise… I never said anything to her.” We both sat on the floor — and I can’t describe this any other way — it felt like the universe itself had gifted us this precious little, beautiful peace sign.

Later that day, I called my mom and asked her about the peace sign decoration — particularly because it was unlike anything she had ever given me before. She simply said, “I don’t know… I was in a store the other day, and I saw it, and I just felt like you would really like it.”

The painted ‘peace glass’ my mom gave me for Christmas that year!

I share this story, not because my peace sign and blue glass has any particular meaning… but because it represents the power of our focus and expectation. What if we expect things to go right? If we can get out of our own way and stop arguing for all of the reasons why they can’t…. is it possible that we can, through our own focus on what we want to create… find proof of what we have envisioned? Since we were kids, we’ve been ‘trained’ to focus on the problems… we’ve been trained to plan for the worst… we’ve been conditioned to worry about everything that could go wrong. We’ve been programmed to think about the zillion imaginary scenarios that get us riled up to the point where it is truly a wonder that any of us do anything at all. And yet, as we hold our fears tightly — we actually cultivate and create more of the energy and focus that we don’t want to experience in our lives. It is only through the process of deliberately shifting our focus… in a gentle way… towards the feeling of what we want to create, that we lay out the welcome mat for something new to arrive.

It’s hard to think about the things that we want in our lives without activating a thought of the lack of that thing. It’s really easy to look at where we are and think that we need to be somewhere else … or that we’d be happier if the situation were different. But what we can we do right now to expect the best? What can we do to find the feeling of the things that excite us the most? What can we do to close our eyes and feel the peace of holding an image in our mind… and then expecting it to arrive, without needing to know how?

So here’s your homework… and don’t worry, it’s easy… and I hope it will be fun. Pick and object or symbol that is easy for you to think about. Possible suggestions: a peace sign, amethyst, a shooting star, a pineapple, an octopus, a lightning bolt, a yellow smiley face… anything that you don’t have very strong feelings about will work. Keep in mind you aren’t going to be searching for these items… and I’m not suggesting that you need to go to an aquarium to find an octopus. As odd as this might sound… just trust that when the object arrives (in some form or another)… you’ll know. As another fun example… I told one of my friends to try this a few years ago… and she selected a whale as the object of her light, gentle focus. The very next day? She received a gift wrapped in… yep… whale themed wrapping paper.

I’d recommend not choosing something like ‘one billion dollars’ for your first attempt at this exercise… because you likely have so many pre-existing beliefs about the rarity of one billion dollars that you’ll end up feeling discouraged (although if you don’t… have at it!). Then, simply find a quiet time during your day and close your eyes… hold this symbol in your mind’s eyes for a few minutes and just envision it ‘surprising’ you in your life experience. Imagine seeing it… and imagine how fun it will feel to watch it arrive… knowing that your intentional focus is the reason that it has arrived. Then, smile… and let the feeling go. Now, move through your next few days with a feeling of giddy expectation for this thing to arrive… and watch. That’s it! Simply watch and wait for it to arrive — and let yourself feel the fun of this game. When it does arrive? Believe me, you’ll know. You will know without a shadow of a doubt that this thing…. this peace sign and blue glass (or whatever it is)… that it is just for you. And then, enjoy the feeling of it — really savor it!

What does seeing a pineapple or a peace sign or a smiley face have to do with anything? As it turns out — quite a bit. Because the process that you use to gently focus on your lightning bolt is exactly the same as the process of learning how to gently focus on the feeling of what you want to create in life. In very simple terms: it’s teaching you how to trust and practice the process of intentional creation in a very different way than you have ever been taught. Most of us have lived our lives very reactively … something happens, and then we react to it (usually in a negative way)… and then it swirls all that chaotic energy into a big soup of energetic muck that leaves us feeling like we have no control over life… so why would we ever expect things to go right?! But … the really good news is that you have more control than you think, and you can decide to shift your focus… and you can decide to expect good things. Does that mean that life won’t be challenging and you’ll ride on a lubricated slip n’ slide from this point forward? Probably not — but that’s not the point of the life that we get to live. The point of the life that we get to live is to explore all of the mess — the stuff we really like, and the stuff we don’t really like — and then to make a conscious choice to focus on the things that we ultimately decide that we want.

BTW - this is me on my mission to stop trying so hard - ha! I think my cat and husband were both pretty impressed, don’t you?

A few nights ago, my husband and I went on a walk near our house and we saw a flock of geese flying overhead. We live near a lake, and every year a small flock of geese return to lay eggs and raise their little goslings. “How do they know how to get to where they want to go?”, Aaron pondered… without actually expecting me to know the answer (because I didn’t). I thought about it for a minute — and when I got home, I did some basic research on geese and discovered that nobody really knows how their internal compass guides them home. There are numerous theories, but there is nothing that somebody can say, without a shadow of a doubt, “This is how they do it!”. We were all born with a similar instinct, even if we don’t migrate. It’s a desire to fly home — towards the truth of who we are…towards the things that we want to bring into this world. Somewhere along the way, we forgot how to use our own internal compass…. the feelings and emotions that show us where we are focused and what direction we are heading. Feelings of joy, love and abundance remain our ‘true north’ … and yet, distracted by the worries and fears that we’ve been taught, we lose trust in the compass of our own heart.

The good news is that your internal compass isn’t broken… it just needs to be slightly recalibrated. Fears and worries are not bad — they are normal, and they are simply clues. Recalibration isn’t a giant leap — it’s a gentle shift. It could start with thinking about a peace sign and blue glass… and then delighting in the feeling of seeing it arrive in an unexpected way. It could be recalibrated by going on walks and talking to yourself. I don’t know what ‘recalibration’ looks like for you — but I do know that it’s possible… and I know that it’s fun… and I know that it will make a difference in the world — not only for you, but for many others.

So today, and everyday, set aside a few minutes to come home to yourself. Remind yourself that you know which way to fly. You don’t need to know all the details. Be here right now and trust your heart — because it’s been asking you to do so. Find a feeling of gentle quietness — and sense a stillness in your heart that exists without anything needing to be different. Then flap your wings a bit and see what happens — a glimmer of blue… a symbol of peace… the tiny little reminders are all around you: you are finding your way back home.

Here’s one of my favorite meditations to help you find that feeling of home (click on the image!):

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Friends, thank you so much for being here — next week I’ll dive more into the abundance topic that I wrote about last week… but, as you can probably tell, I’m a very go-with-the-flow type of person. My ‘What If’ list of things that could go right came to me on one of my walks this week, and I have been having so much fun with it — that I wanted to share it with all of you. See if you can find a feeling of gratitude for where you are right now… and couple it with that fun expectation of your favorite ‘what if’. let go of needing to know how… and see what happens.

Oh, and P.S. as I was in the midst of writing this piece, I listened to a video on YouTube and guess what they were specifically talking about? Yep… blue glass. Ha!

Have a beautiful week — wishing you ease, peace, love, an octopus, a pineapple, a smiley face, a lightning bolt, a peace sign, an amethyst, and a shooting star. You are loved, friends!