Welcome to the Fun House
* Where Jersey Shore meets meditation
Dear Kula Diaries,
When I was a kid, I lived on the East Coast and summer included a mandatory trip to the infamous ‘Jersey Shore’. My grandparents owned a house in a small town called Lavalette, New Jersey… neighbor to Seaside Heights, a much more crowded and touristy town. Each summer, I anxiously awaited our week at the shore… and, in particular, the time that we spent at the amusement park in Seaside Heights.
One year, my cousin and I decided to go on a ride that was marketed as some type of a ‘funhouse’ that included riding in a cart on a track. At first, the ride seemed fun — the little cart zoomed around on small hills, and we were both having a great time… until it made a sharp turn into the inky blackness of a dark building. Suddenly, we couldn’t see anything at all, and the car jerked violently back and forth — whipping us around in the way that only a questionably ‘safe’ ride from the early 1990s was able to do. Along the way, illuminated and terrifying creatures popped out of nowhere and gave the illusion that we were going to run into them, before they quickly folded back down to their starting positions. My cousin and I were terrified. I was pretty young, and definitely not mentally prepared for a maniacal pitch black rollercoaster ride.
When we got off the ride, even though I felt slightly traumatized, we decided to meander over to The Funhouse — a Jersey Shore classic. Walking through the Funhouse, you’d have to navigate all sorts of ridiculous obstacles in order to make it out of the ride — walls of mirrors, a moving floor, a bridge that shifted back and forth, giant foam rollers that were attempting to strike you. While obviously the safety of these ‘rides’ might raise some eyebrows now, I do remember at the time being very aware of something: these obstacles are an illusion, and they can’t really hurt me.
I promise there is some method to my madness here… so here goes:
I hadn’t thought about these Fun Houses in decades. In fact, even now, they feel like a tiny shred of a memory that I have to dig pretty deep to find. But the other day, I was lying in bed, and in a strange state of suspension between sleep and dream, I discovered that I was back in a Fun House again, except this time, it was very different. This time, I could see that there was a very clear path to to follow… an obvious trail that simply required me to walk upon it. And yet, as I walked, ‘obstacles’ started popping up in front of me and beside me — trying to steal my attention from the path in front of me. Momentarily, I’d be distracted by them… and, if I gave them enough attention, they would become more real, and I’d notice how easily I would simply stay in one spot — completely distracted from where I was going by a thing that wasn’t even real. As I laid in bed, I started to laugh amidst this strange vision, and I quickly picked up my pace and started gently pushing each of the obstacles down as I walked, happily. This is so easy, I found myself thinking, Why do I make things so hard for myself?
Here’s what I’ve realized over the past few years of running a business and life: I am the one who gets in my way. Are there things that pop up that I have to deal with from time to time? Of course there are — but overwhelmingly, I can handle those little blips on the radar with ease and grace. When stuff happens, I act — it’s pretty simple. What is not simple is when I create drama for myself by allowing the illusion of a problem to distract me from the clear and easy path that is right under my own two feet. I incorrectly think to myself, “If I just fix this thing or worry about this thing or feel afraid of what could go wrong, then I will know the way and everything will be good.” And the whole time… guess what? I could be walking. I could be taking steps. But instead, I’m driving myself nuts by worrying about something that isn’t even real or hasn’t even happened. Instead of laughing and smacking down the illusory ‘problem’ — I’m the one creating the problem in my mind, and inadvertently keeping myself stuck, instead of moving forward.
All of this is easy to write, but it’s not often easy to notice when it’s happening in the moment. Sometimes, when the mind latches onto something, it’s hard to let it go. We think that if we ponder about something really hard, we’ll be able to ‘figure out the problem’ — but that’s not how it works. As Einstein said, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” It’s really easy to get stuck in our own minds and to react to a trigger or act from a place of fear. It takes a lot of self-awareness and a lot of practice with meditation and a genuine alertness in order to be present to the arrival of these illusory obstacles.
For some reason, this imagery around the Fun House made a lot of sense to me, because I could really see it. I could see myself walking through this goofy, made up world, and I could see that the ride itself was gently coaxing me forward on a path. In my mind, I can see these different fears and worries and self-created drama as they arise: an irrational fear here… a fake conversation there… a totally manufactured scenario here… and, as I watch them pop up, I notice that they have no depth to them. They aren’t three dimensional problems — instead, they are flat façade … a mental projection of something that could be, but is, in fact, not. And so, instead of investing my time and energy into trying to ‘remove’ something that is not real, I just keep walking forward. I acknowledge the fear or doubt that is trying to keep me safe, and I choose to keep taking steps with trust and love.
I see my path I know it is clear I trust my feet As they take me near To things that seem To distract me from The love that exists In everyone May I always remember That it's ok to feel The fear of not knowing While also trusting what's real I can take this step And then I'll take another And if I stumble I know I'll recover Keep walking slowly I'm doing fine I know this path Because it is mine It's made in my heart And I can follow it through To a world that exists Where things are true.
Friends — if you get stuck in your own mind, please know that is entirely normal, and you aren’t doing anything wrong. As we grow in our own consciousness and awareness, we begin to notice these moments of identification with our mind, and practices like meditation help us move beyond those limits. If you notice that you are feeling stuck or obsessing about something or that you feel like you need to fix something in order to move forward, see if you can close your eyes for a few moments, and simply tune into the present moment — a place where the only thing that exists is right now. Our thoughts melt away… situations melt away… stories melt away. And what is left in that place? It’s you, breathing — the penultimate moment of everythingness that we so often overlook as ‘normal’. But you, my dear friend, are anything but ordinary — you are extraordinary!
Once you tune into your breathing, ask yourself if there is an action that you need to take in this exact moment in order to change or make anything different? Does something require your immediate attention …. or are you worried about something in the future… or thinking about something that happened in the past? If nothing requires your immediate action, see if you can gently push over the ‘obstacle’ in your mind. Think of it like it’s on a spring — a 2D image of a ‘thing’ — that isn’t really thing at all, but rather, the idea of a thing. Give it a good shove… or, if you want to get really spicy, give it a good whack-a-mole treatment and let it go. It might come back later, but for now, you’ve done something quite powerful: you’ve freed yourself. As you continue to free yourself over and over, the bonds to these ‘obstacles’ start to loosen… the fog starts to clear… and the path that has been there all along starts to stretch out before your eyes.
Keep taking steps friends — it’s worth it, and you’re doing great. You are loved so very much! I’m so truly grateful that all of you are here and that I am able to share, even in a tiny way, this wonderful adventure of life with all of you.
Thank you for the reminder to "just stay present". Some days the simplest things can be a challenge.
I fortunately have some photos from the Jersey Shore glory days and will send them to you !