The feeling of abundance that you forgot about

Remembering it.. one tiny step at a time (part three!)

Dear Kula Diaries,

Over the past few weeks I’ve been writing about the concept of abundance… which, until about 7 years ago, sounded to me like a made up term that was used by people who decorated their homes with crystals (for the record, I had a rock collection as a kid… so I love crystals). This is the final post in this series, although I’m sure that the topic won’t just disappear. This time, I’m going to talk about the specifics of creating the things that you want in life (because it’s fun to create things that are important to you)… and I’m going to end by sharing the most important thing of all.

I’ve read a lot of things about ‘abundance’ — and most of those writing pieces are focused on ‘getting stuff’. For instance: How can I get more money and then be happy? How can I get my dream car and then be happy? How can I 10x my income and get abs at the same time… and then be happy? These ‘articles’ tend to be very well meaning… and they contain nuggets of truth that follow the basic premise of creating the things that you want in life — but I believe that they are leaving out an important piece of the puzzle: what really matters. Creation will never be satisfying if it isn’t coupled with a conscious awareness of who you are — beyond the physical forms that we enjoy on the ‘human’ level of life. That is why meditation and appreciation are so important prior to haphazardly creating a bunch of stuff. Anybody can create stuff… but not everybody can beam with the radiance of the universe itself — unless they know that they are also the universe.

As Ekhart Tolle says, “The outer purpose of the universe is to create form and experience the interaction of forms—the play, the dream, the drama, or whatever you choose to call it. Its inner purpose is to awaken to its formless essence. Then comes the reconciliation of outer and inner purpose: to bring that essence—consciousness—into the world of form and thereby transform the world.”

I did not live in a place of abundance for most of my life… In fact, I had never even heard the word ‘abundance’. Instead, I lived in a state of absolute fear and paranoia about money and everything else that I wanted… the things that were supposedly going to, ‘make me happy’. When I was a park ranger, I made just over $30,000 per year… and I remember thinking that if I made more money…. I’d be so much happier. Well, guess what? As a railroad police officer, I was making $80,000/year and I still was unhappy. After my near death incident, I hired a life coach… and I remember telling her that I would never consider leaving my job until I had a ‘side hustle’ that was making $80,000 per year. It was somewhere during this time that I ‘accidentally’ stumbled across the concept of abundance… and realized that I had gotten it all wrong. How did I stumble across it? Well, I’m sure that it had appeared in my life experience before — but I simply was not ready to hear it… so I probably dismissed it as unrealistic nonsense. However, I have a very distinct memory of lying in bed … wondering how people could create the life that they wanted to live (because I saw people doing it!)… and thinking to myself, “There has to be a different way!”. At that moment in my life, it was as if I had sent out a tiny little message to the universe that said, “Ok, I give up… I’m ready. Show me how.” And, as it does, the universe delivered.

I had spent most of my life waiting for money and stuff in order to feel abundant… but, oddly enough, I never felt abundant at all. No amount of money or things seemed to help me feel any more secure or any happier… and on that one night when I suddenly decided I was ready to try something else, everything changed. Within days, I discovered a book called Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill… and as I read it… my mind felt like it cracked open a little bit. Suddenly, I started to see that there was another way… and that it had nothing to do with money at all. Richness, as it turned out… was a state of being… a sense of wholeness, that was not attached to anything external. I realized that it was the feeling of wholeness that I had been after the entire time — and I realized that I could feel that right now. For most of my life, I had spent time wanting things in order to feel good. Now, I started to ask a new question: Was it possible that I already had everything that I wanted?

Fair warning: The book is a bit outdated… but it was the first book I read that even remotely touched the concept of abundance.

Shifting your focus from one of needing to a feeling of enough is an act of surrender — because you are saying, “I am whole exactly how I am — and nothing else can complete me.” At first, I didn’t want to say this — because I thought that if I ‘gave up’ wanting something… that it would never arrive. But, as it turns out, the exact opposite is true. As you find the feeling of wholeness and abundance exactly where you are — without needing anything to change — things change. It’s the strange irony of life that when you stop needing something… it shows up.

The really great news about all of this is that anybody can do it… and it doesn’t matter where you are in your life right now — we can all choose to make this shift, because it is a shift that requires absolutely nothing to change… except for how we feel in our hearts. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve provided a few basic tools to help you begin to shift your energy from one of lack or scarcity to an energy of abundance. Meditation and appreciation are powerful tools that will allow you to create abundance far more effectively than any amount of trying hard to get something will ever be able to produce. Today we will continue that shift — not because we want to get something (although things will change in response to your inner change), but because we genuinely want to live abundantly in the fullest expression of who we are. We want to flourish and thrive — we want to bring more love to the world around us.

To fully grasp the concept of this process, I’m going to describe it with a little bit of a metaphor: driving a car (or a motorcycle if you prefer). If you are living in a state of lack or fear… you’re slamming the car in reverse (or tiptoeing backwards on your motorcycle) and going in the exact opposite direction of where you want to go. It’s difficult… it doesn’t feel easy or natural.. it’s awkward… and it isn’t helping you at all. In fact, as a former driving instructor, I can tell you statistically that over 75% of all work-related driving incidents occur during backing. So, going backwards is never in your best interest. When you meditate … you’ve taken the car out of reverse… and you’ve put it into neutral. From a place of being in neutral — you are open and ready to go in any direction. And, when you begin the process of appreciation… and the process of intentionally cultivating the feelings of abundance — you begin to accelerate towards the things that you want to create. How do you know? Because it feels good. Your emotions are like an internal compass that are always guiding you on your path. They aren’t good or bad — they are just clues about whether or not you are going towards the things you want to create or away from them. The good news is that you can always re-route yourself!

I can’t put this puzzle together for you — because it is only something that you will be able to learn and realize through your life experience. I can tell you things from my own perspective and experience — but my hope is that this will spark your own investigation into abundance and life and how it all fits together. I hope that what you discover is much more beautiful than anything you could ever buy… I hope it’s more beautiful than anything you could ever imagine.

Ok… what now?

Do you remember a couple of weeks ago when I gave you an assignment to select an object and then eagerly wait for that object to ‘show up’ in your life experience? In case you need a reminder, I’m linking the post here… but, as a refresher… I suggested that you gently focused on an item that you didn’t have strong feelings about. I’ve already shared my own results — which included focusing on an Octopus and then seeing this sign that made me laugh out loud…

Here’s the big reveal from that exercise, which probably seemed a little bit goofy and silly: The process of creating the things that you want in your life is exactly the same process. The only difference is that while it might be really easy for you to think about something like an octopus… you might have ‘stickier’ beliefs around things like money… or your dream job… or a relationship. This is where the feeling of abundance becomes important — because you do not have to sit around and think about those things in order to allow them to flow into your life experience. The things that you want the most in your life are things that match the feeling of abundance… which means that you as you begin to shift your energy from a place of lack… things will begin to shift and change in order to match the feeling in your own heart.

Getting specific and also not getting specific

If it feels good to you — you can be really specific about what you want to create… but only if you can do this while still feeling good about it. For instance, if you want to experience more prosperity in your life… but every time you think about money, you end up feeling stressed out and distraught… it’s probably best to stay off the subject of money…. and, instead, to move your focus to something that is easier to think about, but still gives you the feeling of abundance. If you are wanting to focus on your dream job, but you end up just complaining about how much your current job sucks… then it will be in your best interest to focus on the feeling of fun … rather than the specifics of what your new job will look like. As you think about what you want to create — put together a list of specific and general things that feel fun and good to you — make sure that you are finding the same feeling of eagerness that you found when you contemplated finding an octopus… be easy about it.

For me, my list currently looks something like this:

• I’ve built an office for Kula Cloth and it’s fun, expansive, modern and open

• I’ve hired somebody to run the day-to-day operations of my business(es) so that I can spend most of my time working on creative projects, writing, and designing new products

• I feel at ease… relaxed and open to the possibilities. I enjoy my life exactly where I am and I take time to savor every moment

• I am present and at peace.

• I feel generous, abundant and full of life

• I bring love, good and abundance to the people in my life and to the world around me

Once you have identified the things that you want to create and cultivate in your life — you can also write (or draw) out a present or past tense version of what this looks and feels like for you — be as detailed or as vague as you need to be in order to allow the entire exercise to feel fun. If you find yourself wondering ‘how’ it will happen or telling yourself that it’s, ‘not realistic’ … that’s your cue to back off and be a bit more vague about what you are writing. As you write it or draw it — see if you can just focus on the fun feeling of envisioning it, without needing to have any clue how it might all appear in your life.

Just a photo I love — this was taken on my climb of Eldorado, in the North Cascades.

Now that you’ve captured your vision (funny… this sounds an awful lot like becoming a gear tester, doesn’t it?!)… it’s time to match the feelings of your vision right now. I’ve said this many times — but we usually push off the feelings that we want to cultivate because we think that they will arrive on the heels of our ‘dreams coming true’ — but it’s a lie. The feelings are within each of us right now… at this very moment… and no amount of anything will ever bring those feelings. In fact, it is the very act of feeling the feelings that you want that will allow newness to flow into your life. Simply put: if you want to attract abundance and prosperity and and fun and ease into your life … you must find the feeling of those things right now.

Remember: if you can’t find those specific feelings yet, that’s OK. This is where meditation works its magic, because when you meditate you are allowing your energy to be in a neutral place. But, if you are in a place where you are feeling really good and starting to sense that this energy is flowing — that is the time to savor the feeling. Really allow yourself to feel it and allow it to flow to you from every direction. Once you start appreciating things and savoring where you are — you will begin to see and notice that you have so much to appreciate.

I don’t know what makes you feel abundant — but the progression from scarcity to abundance starts with answering this question: What gives you the feeling of abundance without needing anything to change? What can you do — in this very moment — to intentionally summon that feeling? And, if you are simply unable to summon the feeling of abundance in this moment (which is also entirely possible)… what is the next slightly best feeling from where you are that you can find? I want to make it clear that this is not just about forcing yourself to be happy amidst a difficult situation in your life. This is about being present in the moment — finding a sense of acceptance — and then being open to the possibilities of life.

When I say to ‘summon the feeling’ — I mean that this is a very, intentional process. For a long time, I tried to ‘think my way’ into feeling abundant, and it didn’t work. Invariably, my mind would get distracted by my to-do list… or I’d start worrying… or my brain would latch onto an unhelpful thought… and I’d end up right back where I started… feeling doubtful. Over the years, I’ve tried to hone in this practice of abundance because it is something that must be practiced. Why? Because it’s so easy to get distracted by the lack of something… and it’s very easy to jump back down that rabbit hole again and again. I’m not sure what will work for you, but I’m going to share what works for me.

In general, I’ve found that speaking out loud or writing is the best way to work my way into a feeling of sustained abundance, love and connection. There are certain activities that can also help with finding this feeling — however, your state of mind during the activity matters more than the activity itself. For instance, playing my violin is an activity that gives me this feeling… unless I spend the entire time in my head worrying about something imaginary. So, what do I do? To be totally honest with all of you… I walk… and I talk… out loud… usually to myself. Some people might want to journal or write about it… but for me, talking out loud helps me stay focused on the feeling that I’m trying to find. I usually start with this sentence as a prompt:

Once I start with that sentence… I just start talking and I see what happens. Sometimes I describe (out loud) the things that make me feel abundant… sometimes I talk about the things that I feel really grateful for. Most recently, I’ve been having a lot of fun doing ‘pretend podcast interviews’ with myself — these are ‘interviews’ that I have with myself where I pretend that I’m answering questions on a podcast. The imaginary ‘questioner’ is asking me about my journey — and formatting it like this gives me the opportunity to ‘remember’ something that has already happened, which seems to really help me cultivate the feeling that I’m looking for. And here’s the thing — when I do these ‘fake interviews’, I really am feeling the feelings. I really feel the relief. I feel the love and the joy and the excitement as I’m speaking out loud — even though nothing has changed about my life situation in that moment. The feeling is not coming from anything outside of myself — it’s coming from within me.

My imaginary podcast interviews and talking to myself out loud is one option that works really well for me — but there are so many other ways too… sometimes, I will just look around at where I am and see if I can possibly fathom the abundance of the universe that is present in that single moment of time. For fun, see if you can do it right now — look around at exactly where you are and see if you can possibly comprehend everything that had to happen in order for this exact moment of your life to exist as it does. As I’m writing this post, I’m sitting in my small Kula office… using a computer… sitting at a desk… looking out the window at cars passing by… watching the rain hit the roof of the small building across from me… and sensing the presence of all of the other humans who are in all of the other buildings within my scope of vision. How can I possibly comprehend the everythingness of just this one tiny moment of life? How can I fathom the people who designed my computer… or built my desk? Or what about the tens of thousands of people who were involved in building the roads or designing the cars? And how can I even begin to grasp the complexity of a universe that creates water that falls from the sky? It’s virtually indescribable and miraculous in every single way — and yet, more often than not, this infinite abundance goes unnoticed … because we’ve seen it so often that it becomes ordinary. Now, it’d be unrealistic to expect that you could notice all of this in every moment — but, if you make it a practice to notice the extraordinary-ness of life at every opportunity… you will begin to sense a feeling of the fullness of life… without anything needing to change at all.

Here is a very non-exhaustive list of options that you can try in your intentional abundance practice:

There are so many ways that you can begin to shift your perspective from scarcity to abundance: being outside and looking at the vastness of nature, dancing for the joy of movement and expression, eating food that you enjoy, making art that feels interesting and exciting to you, cooking a new recipe or baking your favorite cookie, writing a letter of appreciation to somebody who has made a difference in your life, meditating, laughing out loud, writing a poem, sitting in silence and thinking about the people you love etc… when you start to look for ways to tap into this feeling, you will know what works for you. The most important thing is that you actually take the time in the moment to feel the feeling that you are looking for. Most people go through life very much on auto-pilot… they are not in the present moment, taking time to savor where they are — they are always in their heads either ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. As you intentionally cultivate an abundance practice in your life, the key is this: make it deliberate and intentional and be in the moment as much as you possibly can. The now is the portal to the infinite eternalness of all things.

As you think about what is important to you in your life — you can have specific ideas (i.e. a dream job or money or buying your own house) or you can have more general dreams (i.e. to be at peace, to feel a sense of wellbeing, to have meaningful relationships, to feel at ease). There are no right or wrong dreams — and I will absolutely never tell you that your dreams and ideas are not realistic or possible. Allow yourself to have them and have fun with them! Then, from a place of not knowing how they will come into fruition — see if you can identify the feelings that you are seeking through the realization of those dreams. Remember that the only reason that any of us ever want to create anything … is because we want the feeling that we associate with that ‘thing’. For instance — we don’t want money because we think it’ll be fun to sit around and look at a pile of money. We want money because we want the feeling of freedom or the feeling of peace.

If none of these options is available to you right now, that’s also totally OK. The next best feeling thing for you might not be speaking outside or trying to be creative… the next best feeling thing for you might be lying on the ground for a few minutes every evening and staring at the sky. Or, it might be lying in your bed and letting yourself feel relaxed for a few moments. Or, it might be sitting in a chair and closing your eyes for a little while and just noticing your breathing. The most important thing is that… for even a moment… you are allowing yourself to experience the relief of living right now. Not in the past… not in an imaginary future… just right here, right now.

---

Letting it all go

When you begin this process, it’s easy to get excited about getting started… and then very quickly look around at where you are and ask, “Well, where is everything?”… “Where is my dream job?”… “Where is the abundance of new friends and adventure?”… “Where is my money”… “Where are the infinite opportunities?”. Our minds are sneaky and they sometimes want to slip back into looking at a lack of something when they don’t see the results immediately. If you notice yourself doing this… or feeling frustrated with where you are… that’s OK and normal, but it’s also a moment where you can re-direct your thoughts and re-focus on the feelings you are wanting to cultivate. Remember: you don’t need to know how this is going to happen and you can let go and trust that as you focus on these very strong feelings… things will change. I can’t say how they will change, but I know that they will. It might be a tiny idea… or an opportunity… or something you notice… or an impulse to go do something… just trust yourself to follow the nudge when it happens.

I spent most of my life trying hard to make things happen. When they didn’t happen, I’d worry or panic… and it never once made anything better. It wasn’t until I started letting go and focusing on cultivating the feeling of what I wanted… that things started to arrive. And, the odd thing is, that I didn’t really even need them at that point. Not that I didn’t love having those experiences — but I didn’t need them in order to find a sense of wholeness. Abundance, as a it turns out, was something that I had all along — but I had somehow forgotten was there.

Cultivating abundance in your life is a process — because there are many people who have everything that they could ever want… who do not feel abundant at all. Abundance is not about stuff. Abundance is about tapping into the very powerful and infinite feeling of life itself — and remembering that you are a part of it. The things that you desire in your life might arrive on the heels of this feeling… but you won’t need them anymore… because it was the feeling you were after the whole time. It’s been many years since I first heard the term ‘abundance’ and decided that I needed to consider it a bit more seriously. I still experience moments of fear and lack on a regular basis — but now, I’m able to look at those moments for what they are: a programmed belief that is not helping me. I am able to observe that belief and let it go — and come back to this moment, over and over again. In this moment, there is nothing that needs to be added to who I am to make me more complete — and no amount of anything could ever change that. Abundance is a feeling in my heart that allows me to connect to the life that is within me and around me — it helps me remember what really matters and what is really true.

Every single person on this planet is creating their own reality at all times — and it is through our focus that we create the things that are in our own unique life experiences. But the deeper question is this: how are you creating these things? Or rather, from what state of being are you creating them? Are you creating from a sense of wholeness and presence? Or are you creating from a sense of needing more for a sense of validation and completion? This is why I started this short series by talking about developing a meditation practice. Ultimately, discovering our true essence — our beingness that exists that in the present moment — is the foundation for being able to create things that make the world a better place for everybody. This is a place of true abundance where creation is for all beings — not just to bolster an ego or to mask a sense of unworthiness. The foundation of stillness and presence must come first… and then creation that is in alignment with the abundance and nature of life… will naturally follow.

What really matters

Nothing outside of you will ever make you happier or complete you. It is only when we discover our own inner peace and stillness that we can live in true abundance and bring that good to all.

Perhaps it feels ironic to end my final post about abundance with this statement, but I want you to know that it is true. Keep in mind that I’m talking about ‘things’ that are above and beyond basic human needs — I’m talking about the ‘things’ that we think will make us happy — the job, the relationship, the money. It’s so easy to trick ourselves into thinking that we will be happy once we have them… but it’s simply not true and acceptance of this truth is the foundation for beginning to touch the true nature of the abundance of life. There is not one thing that I have ever had or received that has given me the feeling that I I thought I was looking for — and so, the final step in the process for me was this: letting go.

Have there been times when things have made me happy? Yes, absolutely. There are many things that I enjoy and love. I love my home, I love my motorcycle and I love my car and I love my grandmother’s violin. I love the wedding ring that my husband gave me and I love my instant tea pot. Are there times when experiences bring me joy? Yes! I can’t possibly articulate how much I’ve loved all of my adventures in the wilderness… my motorcycle trips with my husband… and my fly fishing trips with my dad. These are dear memories and experiences that I hold in my heart every single day. Are there times when other people make me happy? Of course! My love for my husband knows no bounds. I cherish every single moment that I get to spend with him and he brings so much light into my life through his humor and kindness. I am deeply grateful for and appreciative of all of the other people who are a part of my life: my family, my friends, and every single person who has crossed my path along the way. I’m grateful for all of the humans that I brush paths with… if only for a moment.

And yet, none of these things makes me complete — because that’s not their job. Beyond the story of who I am… beyond my past and my future… beyond my physical human body… I am my own source of the abundance that I seek… and knowing that truth is the most profound realization that I have ever had — and that you will have too. We are born curious… and we were taught to look for things from a very young age: we looked for validation, attention, approval and love… from all the wrong places. Did it feel good to get a gold star? It sure did. But did it last? Never. In fact, it sent us back to seeking again… waiting for the next gold star to arrive.

As you sit in your wholeness, your life will change. It will change because you no longer need anything to be happy … and so, very naturally and easily, the things that you’ve wanted to create… will often arrive. And while you will likely love and enjoy those experiences — they won’t make you any more than what you are. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting things. Are there things that I would like to have in my physical human life? Yes, there are. When those things arrive in my life experience, will I suddenly be more of a person? No, I will not. I am fully whole and complete — exactly as I am, right now in this moment.

If you are wanting to create experiences in your life, you can do that — and I would never ever encourage somebody not to dream big. If you want your dream house… or dream job… please don’t let those dreams go. Just know that wholeness must come first, or nothing will ever be enough for you. As you come into alignment with your own peace and goodness… as abundance flows to you easily and effortlessly… you will be able to bring that gift not only to yourself but to others. You will look around at the world you’ve created and see endless love in every single moment… and you will know that you are a part of something so special and so wonderful that nothing can ever begin to touch the infiniteness of what you are. As you look upon others — you will see this in them too. You will sense a connectedness with all things, and a deep knowingness that the realest part of you has always and will always be whole exactly as it is right now.

---

Friends, I am sending you so much love on your unique and beautiful journeys through life — and I hope that my writing pieces about abundance have inspired you to look more deeply into the infiniteness that exists within you at all times. Once you begin seeing this — you cannot ‘un-see’ it… and I hope that it will open your eyes to a new way of being in the world that is more loving, compassionate and vibrant.

Sending you all so much love, exactly where you are right now!