Always be giving.

A beautiful way to live

Dear Kula Diaries,

The other day, as I was working at my standing desk in the Kula office, I was in the thick of it: making a surprise Kula as a gift for a customer who was going through a rough time. As I was standing at the desk, an acronym popped into my head: ABG. My husband, who was sitting nearby, looked at me inquisitively as I said out loud, “ABG. I just came up with that.” No explanation. No context.

He looked at me with a sideways glance… “Ummmm… ok? What does it mean?”

I had to laugh. In my own head, I had been privy to the ‘arrival’ of this acronym via self-conversation, which made perfect sense given the context of making a Kula for somebody as a gift. Over the years, I’ve said the phrase, ‘Always Be Closing’ as a bit of a joke (a reference from the movie Glengarry Glen Ross): it’s far too ‘cut throat’ sounding for me, and reminds me of a real estate tycoon or a hard-charging sales person with zero regard for humanity. Instead, a new acronym was born: ABG. Always. Be. Giving.

Many years ago, I would not have considered myself a very giving person. I lived in a very deep state of lack, and I was overly concerned with what was, ‘mine’. After my near death experience, everything shifted. Namely, I had a powerful realization: Nothing is ours (specifically) and everything is all of ours. In the clarity aftermath of that incident, I started doing everything that I could to feel less attached to things — and I started giving freely, in ways that I had never done before: buying random people coffees, leaving kind notes on people’s cars, sending surprise anonymous gifts. It made me feel giddy and happy — it felt like I was a part of a bigger flow and that the purpose of life was simply to be a part of it all.

As I moved forward into my ‘new’ life, after that incident, I made a promise to include some aspect of giving into everything that I do. If I’ve learned anything over the past few years of running a business, it is that making giving, kindness and love the priority have yielded results far beyond any ‘traditional’ methods … and it is far more fulfilling, meaningful and rewarding to do things that bring more good in the world.

At the end of the day, we can’t take anything with us … and yet, we’ve been told that we need spend our entire lives chasing something so transient and, ultimately, meaningless. How can we shift our perspective to focus on using our unique gifts and abilities to add more love to the world around us? How can we use what we are doing for the good of the world? Truly, when we do that, we are free: free from results, expectations, and limits. When the focus is on creating more love — anything is possible.

A few months ago, I started painting again after a multi-year unintentional hiatus. Every single night, I sit down with my watercolors and I paint simple images and hand-letter quotes that inspire mindfulness and presence. It takes me about 20-30 minutes to finish one painting, but I find the entire process very meditative and relaxing. Each morning, I bring my new batch of paintings to our small office and place them in a pile on our order packing table so that Ashley (who packs our orders) can add them to random orders. In the past few months, I estimate that I’ve probably completed over 300 paintings that have been given away! It’s a tiny thing, but it’s still a thing… and in a world where our lives revolve primarily around digital communication, receiving a handwritten note feels… well… special.

Last week, unbeknownst to me, Ashley and Amanda (our Creative Director) had conspired behind my back… because Amanda realized that I had never created a Kula with my own art on it. Ashley secretly took a photo of one of my watercolors… and Amanda prepped it for production. Then, while I was in a meeting, Ashley printed it and then presented it to me at the end of the day.

I’ve been ‘at it’ with Kula for over 7 years, and I had never received a Kula Cloth as as a gift before — and certainly not one with my own art on it. I was completely unprepared for how emotional it made me feel to see my own design on this tiny piece of fabric that, itself, feels like an extension of my heart. It was if, somehow, the gifts that had gone out into the world in the form of my tiny paintings… had all come back to find me. Giving is not linear in nature … it is circular. When you give, you don’t ‘lose’ anything. Instead, we all gain something.

Here’s a short little video I made after Ashley gave me my own custom Kula:

Giving doesn’t need to be about writing out million dollar checks (but it can be). Giving can start so small. For me, it started with buying coffee for random people. It can be anything, as long as it is given with love, and given without expectations. As I let go of my attachment to, ‘my stuff’, I felt a newfound sense of aliveness and freedom and a connection with something that went so far beyond any material stuff. It wasn’t about the coffee. It was about the giving. A Course in Miracles says, “To give and to receive are one in truth. (ACIM, W-108)”

One of the most profound exercises in the Course in Miracles is about this unity of giving and receiving:

Today we practice with the special case of giving and receiving. ²We will use this simple lesson in the obvious because it has results we cannot miss. ³To give is to receive. ⁴Today we will attempt to offer peace to everyone, and see how quickly peace returns to us. ⁵Light is tranquility, and in that peace is vision given us, and we can see. (ACIM, W-108.7:1-5)

²To give and to receive are one in truth.
³I will receive what I am giving now.

⁴Then close your eyes, and for five minutes think of what you would hold out to everyone, to have it yours. ⁵You might, for instance, say:

⁶To everyone I offer quietness.
⁷To everyone I offer peace of mind.
⁸To everyone I offer gentleness.

9. Say each one slowly and then pause a while, expecting to receive the gift you gave. ²And it will come to you in the amount in which you gave it. ³You will find you have exact return, for that is what you asked. ⁴It might be helpful, too, to think of one to whom to give your gifts. ⁵He represents the others, and through him you give to all.

(ACIM, W-108.8:2–9:5)

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So, this week, my message is simple: find a small way to give. Give freely. Give with love. As you give to others, so too will you receive — and, friends, let me tell you… you will know it in your heart.

Sending you all so much love this week, and all weeks.