Wednesday Words

Cosmically significant and other deep thoughts

Wednesday Words is the little space where I write about random things that pop into my mind. I’m also sharing some nice photos and videos that bring me a feeling of connection and peace.

Dear Kula Diaries,

A few weeks ago, the phrase cosmically significant popped into my brain. I’m not sure why. I think it might have been during my backpacking trip with my mom and Aaron. Nature has a very powerful way of illustrating the cosmic insignificance of so many things… while simultaneously highlighting the absolute significance of others.

I didn’t always realize it, but I think that is what drew me to the outdoors. The things that seemed to ‘bother’ me at home, didn’t seem to matter much when I was outside or climbing a mountain or watching an alpine sunset. There’s a video I saw years ago that starts on earth and gradually zooms out… and out… and out… and out… in an attempt to give you the sheer scale of the entire universe itself, and how truly miniscule we are in the entirety of the cosmos. By the end of the video, you’re left with this confusing feeling of immense awe and simultaneous smallness at the realization that our planet, in the big scheme of the universe, is basically equivalent to a fleck of nothingness that somehow resides on a microscopic piece of dust. It’s hard to believe that we really are that tiny.

And yet.

And yet, as tiny as we are… the miraculous nature of our precarious beingness floating in space is also brought into focus. We, the tiny humans who are moving about this planet, are also the consciousness of the universe itself.

As humans, many of us (but not all) spend our entire lives in what sometimes feels like frantic disarray about the things that we’ve been told really matter. We’ve been trained to live in fear of life, rather than with it. We’ve been told that what we do matters more than how we do it.

I’m not saying that we should ignore the day to day activities of life as a human on earth — because we do live in a world where, on some level, it does matter. I’m not saying to throw caution to the wind and to be reckless and to run out and buy a Lamborghini and drive it off a bridge while wearing a parachute… because YOLO. But, what could happen if we focused more on the how we exist part of our life? Would the ‘what’ part of our life then begin to fall into place? More simply stated: if we focus on the energy of what we bring into this world, will the physical world around us that we have been trained to attempt to control, fall into place to align more with the energy that we are radiating out into the universe?

A few weeks ago, I was doing a reference check on a potential employee, and I had an unexpectedly emotional call with one of her references. I’m not sure how we even got onto the topic — but the woman told me that at one point in her life she had been told, “You don’t see a hearse driving down the road with a U-Haul behind it.” In other words: we can’t take it with us. Of course, that doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy things while we are here on this planet, but if our entire life is spent chasing something outside of us — are we really enjoying it? Or are we looking for the next thing that will complete us or make us better? Do we even need to be fixed in the first place?

It’s not easy to look within. It was not easy for me to realize that there was one common denominator to all of my problems (hint: it was me). I had spent my entire life running from my problems… I tried to change everything outside of myself, and they never seemed to go away. Sure, I could find temporary balms — men, mountaineering, changing my job, etc… but, after the excitement of something new wore off, I’d be right back where I started. My inability to look at myself had simply changed costumes and put on a new mask. As soon as I started to feel that overly-familiar sense of unease, it was time to jump ship again.

Developing a sense of self awareness is not easy, because most people don’t even know that they aren’t aware… and when you are not aware, you naturally attempt to fix the things that you believe are the problem. In my case, it was always my job… or my partner… but never me. It is a part of the human process to create an identity… and then, over time, begin to shed the layer. For many, awareness comes in through the cracks — just as Rumi says, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

Awareness is a funny thing, because even when you’ve allowed it to enter your life, it isn’t always the lens through which you look at the world. It’s easy to get sucked back into the old way of seeing things… a place where we are continually and endlessly trying to fix things. It’s easy to want stuff in order to feel better. It’s easy to avoid the present moment at all costs, because in the present moment — what is left? It’s just me, sitting here. The title, the stuff… all of it melts away. As I sit in that place of simply being, what matters?

I certainly do not have the answers to all of life and the universe — but the more and more that I sit in the present moment, the more I have come to realize that the answer is not something that can be named. How can you name something that stretches out beyond infinity? How can you name a thing that is eternally vast … and, yet, simultaneously lives within each molecule of everything?

Many years ago, the movie Men in Black came out — and while this is obviously a fictional film, there’s a scene at the end where they discover that a ‘missing universe’ that they have been searching for has been hanging in a tiny glass marble on a cat’s collar the entire time. As they glance into this little glass bead, they are mesmerized as they look into the vastness of space that exists in this tiny and finite object.

We are like that too, but we’ve forgotten. What would it be like to see the universe in each other? If we look deeply enough, can we see the stardust left behind? Can we see the universe stretching out in every single direction? Can we see into the depths of the furthest galaxies? In a way, I think we can, because we are all of everything. The entire universe had to be in order to create what it is now — which includes this exact point and moment in time and space, which includes you. Take a moment to comprehend the specialness of you — and the specialness of this whole experience… the wackiness, the chaos, the ridiculousness, the brilliance, and the seemingly wild nature of it all. Look at the things that we’ve deemed significant, and then look deeper at what really matters. Let the noise of our world fall away, and listen to the ancient sound of stars colliding. Feel the universe inside of you — the magical aliveness in space.

I’ve contemplated these ideas enough that it’s shifted how I continue to exist in the world. Annoyance or frustration — familiar friends that I used to spend a lot of time with, have stepped aside and made way for things like acceptance and curiosity. When you can approach more moments with an open heart, the beauty that blooms in those unexpected places is remarkable and profound.

It’s easy to forget to notice, but you aren’t alone. The universe is full of reminders — leaves shimmer with dewdrops… stars twinkle in the vast cosmos… and the translucence of a dragonfly’s wings reflect the light of the sun. These messages are little post-it notes from the depths… that silently whisper the truth that we already know. We can choose to see them in every moment, because they all point to the same thing: in this sometimes confusing world of stuff that feels wildly out of our control, the most cosmically significant thing you will ever find is you and the love and kindness that you bring to the world.

This was my Pee Pod pocket poem this week, and I wanted to make sure to share it here too!

Friends — I’m sending you all a lot of love, ease and peace this week. Please know how much you are loved. The goodness that you bring into everything that you do — no matter how seemingly insignificant — does make a difference.

P.S. One more thing to be a little excited about… my friend Heather started a new YouTube channel and there may or may not be a Kula cameo in a few weeks. You can find her new channel here — Heather is an AMAZING writer and editor, and I’m sure this is going to be a really high-value channel to watch!