The Burrito Project: Gallery #1
My ongoing art project.
Pssst. As always my posts are too long for e-mail format, so click ‘read more’ at the bottom to see the whole thing!
Dear Kula Diaries,
This week I’m going to share something that is decidedly very different and also very fun (and hopefully a little funny). I had originally been working on a piece about doing one thing at a time… and don’t worry… I won’t drop the ball on that one… but you see, this is the Kula Diaries… which means, it’s happening in real time. I didn’t come here to sugar coat the glamorous lifestyle of being an outdoor gear company founder… I came here to be honest and to share the entire process of what it means to go with the flow and to truly create in a way that feels surprising, fun and exciting. And sometimes going with the flow means writing about burritos.
The universe has a really amazing sense of humor. I, on the other hand, know a grand total of one joke. Seriously, I only know one joke. I’m going to tell it to you right now, and then it’ll be done forever and you won’t have to worry about hearing me tell another joke… ever again.
There are three burglars who are running from the police after robbing a jewelry store, and they dash into an old barn to hide. On the ground, they notice three potato sacks.
“Quick! Jump into the potato sacks to hide… and follow my lead!”, says one of the burglars.
All three thieves jump into their respective potato sacks and lay motionless on the ground of the barn. Moments later, the police, in hot pursuit, enter the barn to search for the criminals. Immediately, they notice the three potato sacks lying on the ground. A police office nudges one of the potato sacks with his foot…
“Woof woof!! Woof wooof!”, barks the burglar hiding inside of the potato sack.
“Oh, it’s just a dog!”, says the mercifully unobservant police officer.
Another officer nudges the second potato sack.
“Meow… meow!”, whimpers the second criminal… following the brilliant lead of his associate.
“Oops, just a cat!”, says the police officer… stupefied as to where the criminals could have gone.
A third police officer nudges the final potato sack with his foot.
“POTATOES!”, the third burglar shouts.
And there you have it folks… the full extent of my joke repertoire. And now I’m going to tell you why the universe has a sense of humor, and what burritos have to do with it.
Right now, the very very tiny Kula HQ is in the midst of a move… to a slightly less tiny Kula HQ. We are trying our best to move all of our inventory to a new location… which means outfitting a new building with lots of shelves, desks, creepy cat shower curtains and creepy cat hand towels. In addition to running the day-to-day of the business itself… adding in a move is challenging. Then, last night, my husband and I came home from spending most of the evening trying to set up the world’s worst desk in the history of the cosmos … and we discovered that our fridge had stopped working. In a mess of melted ice cubes and defrosted frozen berries… I found myself fridge shopping late into the evening. First off, these are NOT major problems. Purchasing a fridge is a gift. Living in a home with a fridge is a gift. Owning a business is a gift. But…the irony of all of this happening while I was simultaneously working on a writing piece about doing one thing at a time made me laugh out loud. In the midst of what already felt like an overwhelming week… guess what my satellite beacon was saying? SHOW ME MORE THINGS TO BE OVERWHELMED ABOUT. “I’m not falling for it,” I told my husband.
In the midst of what feels like chaos, it’s so easy to want to dive in. It’s so easy to want to identify with everything that is happening … and to let it suck you away into a dark abyss of too much to do. But I know better. And, this, friends… this is why I decided to share my first edition of the burrito art gallery this week. The Burrito Project is something that I have ‘worked on’ (that’s a loose term) over the course of the summer. It is wildly hilarious and entertaining to me… and thinking about The Burrito Project instantly puts me into a state of joy and creative flow. As a part of my Do One Thing At A Time experiment, I’ve realized that diving into things that feel chaotic doesn’t help. Sometimes doing one thing at a time means that you don’t try to fix everything right now. Sometimes it means that you surrender a little bit to exactly where you are … accept it… do your best to find the gold that’s hidden in the shadows… and then find something to laugh about.
The Burrito Project started about a year ago. I really enjoy watching the show Alone — in case you haven’t watched it, it’s a competitive survival show with a ‘last person standing’ format. Skilled survivalists are dumped into the wilderness completely alone and told to fend for themselves, while filming their experience. Since they are required to hunt and gather to find their food, most of the participants end up eating some pretty gnarly things… slimy grubs, rendered beaver fat, and other delicacies. The funniest part of this show for me is usually the random subtitles that appear on screen. A contestant will be eating a broth of boiled slimy grubs, and a little subtitle will appear that says, “Joe will consume 27 calories from this broth.” My husband and mom and I all thought this was really funny, so when we would hike together, we’d point out pinecones or chipmunks and jokingly say, “45 calories”… or “32 calories in that minnow.”
My husband Aaron and I ride motorcycles, and last summer I started making pretty elaborate burritos for us to carry on our motorcycle rides so that we could have evening moto-picnics for dinner. As a joke, I took a sharpie and started writing a brief “description” of what was in the burrito on the wrapper. Please note: these descriptions are not real. I repeat: they are not real. Inside the foil was a completely normal (delicious) burrito.
As time went on, I started to take these burritos more and more seriously, and I decided that I needed to turn this into more of a creative writing project. I never actually intended to share these — I mostly started writing them because there is something magical about being amidst the chaos of life and then sitting down to write a completely ridiculous label for a burrito that you are about to eat. I could have had the most frustrating day … or I could have been feeling a little glum… but sitting down to write a burrito label for absolutely no reason at all other than because it was purely wonderful felt like such a true gift to me. Even on days where it felt like nothing was going my way, I’d sit down to write for The Burrito Project, and the most silly words and ideas would flow into my mind and out my fingertips. I swear to all of you… I swear on the Burrito Angel herself… that these words are the work of a burrito divinity that needed to communicate through me. I am simply a vessel.
In the spring of this past year, I wanted to buy some large tortilla shells, but I couldn’t find any that were big enough. I didn’t want the 'large burrito shells’ that they sell at Safeway. I wanted the giant burrito shells that they use in restaurants. So, I went onto a restaurant supply website and I ordered a case of giant burrito shells, not quite realizing that I had just ordered a box of 72 burrito shells. When it arrived, I knew that my flour destiny had been born — I was being called by the cosmos itself to write the most ridiculous burrito labels that had ever been written… perhaps the only ridiculous burrito labels that had ever been written. I took a vow that day to eat 36 burritos… and to write labels for all of them.
Currently, I have eaten 25 burritos since I officially started the project … so this ‘art gallery’ will be shared here in installments, which will allow you to appropriately savor the experience. The burrito labels started very simply at first… and as I became more and more committed to the importance of this project, my labels became more and more complex. The first 6 labels are what I would consider The Early Days of The Burrito Project. These labels are hand written… barely legible… and also lack detail. While many artists might be embarrassed to show some of their earliest work, I will nevertheless, in the spirit of full transparency, share these very early burritos. Keep in mind: I was still feeling my way into the art at this point, and had not yet received a full summons from the burrito cosmos. Since these burritos are far less impressive, I will share them all at once… just to get it over with:
These burritos were consumed at: Barlow Pass (Mountain Loop Highway), Camano Island State Park, and River Meadows Park in Arlington, Washington. Each of these burritos was consumed after riding to aforementioned locations via motorcycle. At least one of the burritos involved taking a nap on the beach afterwards. As you can see, these burrito wrappers were relatively uninspiring… however, friends, remember that even the finest artists start out somewhere. That includes burrito artists too (at least I think it does).
Burrito 7 was a turning point for me. I’m not sure what happened that day… but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that Burrito 7 was also consumed on June 7th. Coincidence? If I’m being honest, probably. Or, it could be that the burrito stars aligned that day and provided me with a little nudge… as if to say, “Anastasia, sure you could be doing other things… but what we really want you to focus on right now is your burrito labels.”
Burrito 8 was consumed on the beach at Camano Island State Park. Camano Island is about a 1 hour motorcycle ride from our home, and it’s one of our favorite places to go. Sometimes my brain feels like it hurts after thinking too much all day long… and there is nothing quite like the feeling of catatonically lying on the beach after consuming a giant burrito (seriously, try it). While I was very proud of the descriptions that I wrote for Burrito Number 8, I still felt like something was … missing. I wasn’t sure what it was… but it was a nagging feeling that my descriptions were lacking a depth that I really craved… I knew I wanted to go deeper into an exploration of what could be possible for these burritos.
It was at this point in the process that I realized that I was no longer simply making a burrito and wrapping it up to have dinner… I was working on a very serious, very important art project. I decided that these labels needed to be bigger, easier to read and more detailed. I immersed myself in creation of these labels as I envisioned wild-scenarios and elaborate cooking methods that made absolutely no sense at all. A Lemur hair burrito? Too cliche. But toasted lemur hair? Now we’re getting somewhere. That was unexpected. Burrito number 9 was consumed on a ferry as Aaron and I headed out for our very first overnight trip on our motorcycles:
And so, friends, it is with flounder soaked eyeballs and toasted lemur hair that I will leave you today. Have no fear, The Burrito Project will return. Keep in mind that this is very much a living art project — which means that I am actively pursuing burrito eating and writing burrito labels as often as I can, since I still have at least 11 burritos to consume in order to complete the project that I set out to create. Where will the Burrito Project go? The Modern Museum of Art? The Metropolitan? I don’t know for sure.
When I was a kid, my parents took me to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and I was fascinated by the modern art section. In particular, a few pieces stood out to me. One of them was a felt suit. That was it… it was just a suit, made of felt, on a hanger. Another piece was a bunch of lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling. Yet another piece was a child’s toy beauty set that had been drenched in some sort of rubberized coating and plastic-ized. Most memorably, I stood in front of a canvas that had been painted a single shade of blue. I stared at that painting for awhile until my dad joined me. With a cocky tone in my voice, I looked up at the blue canvas and said, “Why is that in here? I could have done that!”. My dad looked back at me and said, simply, “But you didn’t.”
That one, fragment of a little moment in time stands out to me more than a lot of moments in my childhood. Instantly, I knew he was right. I didn’t paint a canvas blue. I didn’t think that my art was good enough to be in a museum. That was for other people, not for me. I don’t even remember who painted the blue canvas, but whoever he was, his art was there for a reason. It was there because, on some level, he did something that had never been done and he didn’t believe that he wasn’t good enough to share his azure vision with the world.
My Burrito Project started as a joke… and it is still kind of a joke … but over the course of time, it has morphed into something more than just silly labels. Each time I sit down to write out a burrito wrapper, I press the ‘pause’ button on the busy feeling of life… I tell myself that it’s ok to have fun. It’s ok to be creative. You can be silly. You can take a break. You can write whatever you want, however you want. It doesn’t matter if it’s a burrito wrapper… or a poem… or the next Moby Dick… your creative expression matters if you believe that it does. It only exists if you decide that it gets to exist… and anything can become art if you believe that it is art.
What is art, if not a glimpse into the heart and mind and life of a fellow human? What can a burrito wrapper tell you about the day that it was created? Maybe it says more than rancid hermit crabs and musk ox eyeballs… maybe there are unwritten words between the handwritten ones … This was a hard day for me… but I made it through… and I laughed. I found a little bit of joy today and I put it on this piece of aluminum foil and I wrapped it around a giant flour tortilla and then sat on a warm beach and looked for sea glass, as if there was nothing more important in the world to do… and I sat here with somebody that I loved and we read these labels out loud and we laughed at life… and maybe our laughter was the art. Maybe it wasn’t the words. Maybe it was us. Maybe it is us. And maybe we forget that sometimes.
Friends, I hope that you have enjoyed this tiny hop into a little project that has brought me a lot of joy this summer. I’m going to share all of the burritos… and their stories… because, if I do say so myself, some of the labels get really good. While I recognize the ridiculousness of writing nonsensical burrito wrappers on one level… I cannot possibly capture the joy and presence and creativity that I felt while taking the time out of my day to sit and write these. To create something … simply for the joy of creating it … is such a gift. To share that gift with others, and to laugh into the sunset on a summer day — well, I’m just not sure that there is anything more beautiful than that.
I hope that all of you have a beautiful day today… I hope you have a beautiful week. Do the creative things that feel like fun, even if they seem ridiculous. You never know where they will lead.
Sending you all lots of burrito love today!
Love,
Anastasia
P.S. I can hardly believe that this is my 20th Sunday post in a row! Thank you all so much for being here and for supporting The Kula Diaries… it means so much to me! If you have a question, comment or anything else… you can submit it through the Kula Diaries Google Vault. It is anonymous, so if you want a response, please include your e-mail address.
One of my favorite burrito combos:
giant tortilla shell
cook a strip of bacon (optional)
cook sliced onions in the leftover bacon fat (use olive oil if not using bacon) and then add diced raw chicken or a plant-based option if you prefer … cook thoroughly until browned. Season with garlic and salt or Johnny’s seasoning.
To the tortilla: add cheese (I use Beecher’s flagship), smashed avocado mixed with a little mayo and garlic salt, and some lettuce or spinach
put the chicken on top of the cheese, avocado and lettuce
add sliced bell peppers, apples and banana peppers (dry off with a paper towel so they don’t get too soggy)
roll up into a mega burrito
wrap in aluminum foil
Write your own wrapper… or print the one below and tape it to the foil wrapper… and give it to friend (or eat it yourself)
Take a photo of your burrito in the location where you ate it.
Here’s your pre-made burrito label … enjoy!
I love everything about the burrito project. Joy does make the best art!💖
If you get a chance - check out the Microsoft bing wallpaper for today - 10/16/23 - I was looking at my page and thinking - this is a place that Anastasia would dance (before I looked to see where it was). Prusik Peak in the Enchantments region - so definitely a place you'd dance!
I've loved the burritos and the notes that you've put on them (longtime IG follower).