Snapshots: Shorts, Pancake, and Sprinkles
A few short stories that somehow become one.
Dear Kula Diaries,
This week, I didn’t have a specific theme that I wanted to write about… so I didn’t. Instead of writing one, continuous story or idea… I’m coming to you with two, completely unrelated stories. One story is about a pair of shorts… and the other story is a strange tale of Craigs List and cats. Somehow, they both end up merging at the end.
This week, more than anything, I wanted to tell stories that made me feel good. It’s so easy to wish that you were somewhere else… somewhere further along… and, in the process, you miss where you are. So, I decided to write about two things that are important to me — for different reasons. When I first started writing these short pieces, I didn’t think that there was a common thread that tied them together — but in retrospect, there is. Maybe, it’s possible, that sometimes we just need to tell stories that make us feel good… stories that help us to remember the little details of life that make it so special.
I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed writing them down!
Snapshot 1: Shorts
I have no experience designing clothing. I have no experience designing sportswear. But I do have a lot of ideas about what works and what doesn’t work. I’ve always had a bit of an ‘odd’ relationship with clothes… mostly because I wore a uniform for most of my life. As a child, I went to Catholic school and wore… a uniform. My first job was a a lifeguard at a swim club, and I wore… a uniform (well, a bathing suit uniform). My next job was working in a hospital in the Purchasing Department and then in the Pathology Lab, where I wore… you guessed it… a uniform. As a Park Ranger, I wore a uniform… and as a Railroad Police Officer, I wore a uniform. I loved it. I loved not having to think about what to wear every single day, and not having to put, ‘an outfit’ together… because it was so easy to throw on my cargo pants, steel-toed boots, and uniform shirt. When I had to attend a social event, I often struggled because… What am I supposed to wear? So, I found ways to turn my ‘normal’ clothes into a uniform too. I’d find one particular item that I liked, and then I’d buy it in a variety of colors and just swap out the shirts. In college, my ‘uniform’ was a a pair of Adidas sweatpants and a Fox Racing hooded sweatshirt. As ‘senioritis’ crept in during my final semester… the enthusiasm that I had displayed while wearing cute skirts to class my freshman year was nowhere to be seen. I was lucky if I woke up on time… and I felt like everybody should be thanking me for getting dressed. Didn’t they know how hard it was to wake up for an Ancient Greek Language class at 7am?
When I started hiking, I didn’t really care what I wore. As long as it wasn’t cotton, I’d wear it. But gradually, I started to realize that the lack of color in hiking gear was a bit of a bummer. For some reason, I’ve always been attracted to things that most people might find odd: patchwork designs, contrasting thread colors, and vibrant hues. When I started dancing in 2021, this interest in brightly-colored clothing was only intensified as I found myself purchasing completely unnecessary pairs of pants, simply because I wanted to dance in a pair of patchwork sweatpants.
Back in 2008 — long before Kula Cloth existed — I had the idea for a pair of hiking underwear. I had purchased a pair of Mountain Hardwear ‘boyshorts’ and I loved them, but they stopped making them. I was so crushed that these underwear were unavailable, that I actually e-mailed Mountain Hardwear to see if they had anymore in their warehouse. The customer service person actually wrote back to me with a funny note that said something to the effect of, “We don’t have any… unfortunately, our mom told us never to leave our old underwear lying around.” The day that I received that message, I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder if I could design a pair of underwear!” I had an idea to call them the Crevasse Shorts — you know… because of the pun on the word a$$. Ha! I wanted them to be a pair of boxer briefs that you could wear as underwear and shorts. I tried drawing a few designs, and then I did what I always did… I quit. It was too hard. I didn’t know how to do it. Nobody would buy it. And I couldn’t afford it. Unfortunately, I believed myself… and I gave up on the underwear idea.
Over 15 years later… and after Kula Cloth had been born, I was past the phase of telling myself that I couldn’t do something. So, I took a bunch of different types of underwear that I liked and figured out which features I wanted in my new underwear design. I worked with a pattern maker… and over 16 prototypes later… Pyka Pants were born. To date, we’ve sold hundreds of Pyka Pants and they are consistently my favorite hiking underwear… and I even wear them as shorts during the summer. I love them!
So, why the long backstory? Well, my journey into designing apparel doesn’t end with Pyka Pants… because during the process of designing those, I realized that I don’t have a pair of hiking shorts that I really like. I didn’t want a pair of shorts with built in underwear… and I have never been a fan of bulky ‘cargo style’ shorts. I wanted something really lightweight, quick drying, easy to move in… and with a stretchy waistband (because I hate zippers and buttons - ha!). And so… I decided that if I could design a pair of underwear… maybe I could design a pair of shorts too! For the past year or so, I’ve been slowly working on the pattern for my Pyka Shorts design… and last week, I got to wear (what I think) is the final prototype! We are working on finishing the pattern that will be featured on the waistband and the printed side panel… and then we are going to do a short run of samples so that I can have some folks test them! But, I am so close to having them finished, and it feels very exciting and exhilarating to watch this product come to life.
A long time ago, Kula Cloth was just me. My husband was still working at the railroad, and I would sit alone in our office and do whatever needed to be done to get this tiny little business off the ground. One day, I wrote a bunch of things on a white board. One of the things I wrote on that whiteboard was: KULA IN REI. Something else that I wrote was: PYKA (larger gear company). The name Pyka has been in my heart for a long time — and not once have I ever had a clear path about what to do to ‘make it happen’. Pyka has simply created itself from the ideas that I had once stuffed away… it has created itself from the version of me that wore almost no color on my clothing for most of my life… but somehow realized that life is a technicolor experience that needs to be danced about. Do I know what is next for Pyka? Quite honestly, I don’t. But what I do know… is that it existed in my heart a few years ago… and now, it’s something that I can touch and feel. It exists in the gaiter that I wear when I ride my motorcycle… in the underwear that I wear when I go backpacking… and, most recently, it exists in the shorts I wear while I’m hiking and dancing.
It’s easy to wish that you were further along the imaginary timeline of life, but in that wistful needing, you miss out on where you are. I’m really proud of the things that I’ve done in the past few years — for a former railroad police officer who happens to have a degree in Latin… I’d say that I’m doing pretty well as a gear designer. I don’t write about my shorts to boast, but rather to say — I had no clue how to do it. And, in fact, I almost didn’t do it. It would have been so easy to let those dreams and ideas go… and it has been a challenge to bring them to life, but I am so glad that I did. I am so grateful for all of the people who have helped me along the way and who have shown me that you don’t need to know how to do things… in order to do things. You can have a vision and an idea, and you can allow your belief in yourself be the force that guides you to the answers.
Snapshot 2: Esa
This is the unbelievable story of how we adopted our cat, Esa (pronounced ‘Ace-uh’). I’m going to tell you this story, because it makes me really happy… and because Esa is a constant reminder to me of the unique and wonderful creative force that lives within each of us.
In early 2020, I suddenly told Aaron that I’d love to get a cat and name it… Pancake. I don’t know why this thought occurred to me, but for some reason, it just seemed like Pancake would be a great name for a cat. At the time, Aaron and I were the proud parents of two grey cats: Cinder, a Siberian Forest Cat… and Niko, a reformed barn cat. We did not need another cat, but I loved thinking about the idea.
One night, out of the blue… I logged into Craigs List. Craigs List and I have a very weird relationship: I often forget that it exists, until the one or two times every single decade that I remember it is there… and then I ended up posting something or finding something there that completely changes the course of my life.
Exhibit A: The Musical Mountaineers:
My entire life was changed after I posted an ad for myself as an ‘adventure elopement’ violinist on Craigs List. While nothing came from the ad itself, the act of posting it started an avalanche of momentum towards an idea that ultimately resulted in the ‘chance’ meeting of my friend Rose, who also happened to have a dream of playing her piano in the wilderness.
Here’s that original ad that I posted back in 2017:
Exhibit B: The New Kula Office
For nearly 5 years of its existence, Kula Cloth was headquarter’ed in some version of my home. This was either in my guest bedroom… my office… or both. When Aaron and I moved into a new home in 2020, Kula Cloth took over most of the house. I had been looking for a commercial space for Kula for nearly two years, but as you can imagine, Granite Falls, Washington is not a hot bed of commercial real estate. Available properties included 50,000 sq ft warehouses… and a few buildings owned by hoarders who wanted the ability to stay in their building after I purchased it. None of these options was feasible.
In July of this past year, my husband and I went on a motorcycle ride and about 20 minutes into our ride … Aaron got a flat tire. It was over 90 degrees that day, and we ended up sitting in a spot on the side of a guardrail — using our helmets and jackets to try and create a little ‘tent’ of shade. The tow truck driver arrived two hours later… and it was a very strange experience, because as we were sitting on the highway I knew and I could feel that something was about to happen. How did I know? I honestly can’t say. It was just a feeling that I had that day — I sat on the side of the road and watched the leaves on the trees shimmering in the sun, and I listened to the birds. I felt a strange sense of peace that nothing — not even traffic rushing by, or a flat tire — could disturb.
My husband rode back to our house with the tow truck driver, and I rode my motorcycle home and was overwhelmed with a very deep sense of joy. If you’ve never ridden a motorcycle — it’s a beautiful experience, and it allows you to connect with the world around you in a unique way that really does give you a sense of freedom that is hard to articulate. As I twisted around the curves and headed back to our house, I had no clue that the road that evening was going to lead me, yet again… to Craigs List. Apparently, Aaron had gotten into a conversation with the tow truck driver about Commercial Properties… and the tow truck driver had said, “You should look on Craigs List!”. Within minutes of receiving this news, I pulled up Craigs List and the very first listing that I saw is the building where Kula now lives. In fact, it was the only time the building was ever posted for rent on Craigs List.
Exhibit C: Back to the original story about the cat
And so now you know that Craigs List is a magical place of wonderment for me. Every. Single. Time. I venture onto Craigs List… something happens. Which might make you ask: why aren’t you on Craigs List all the time? And the only answer I can provide is that most of the time, I forget that it exists. These magical moments on Craigs List are divinely inspired by the universe itself, and I simply cannot orchestrate that on my own. They are moments when Craigs List — like a beam of light from the heavens — is sent to me, in a magical way.
And a beam of light is what was sent to me one day in early 2020… when I had thought about naming a cat Pancake… and then, thought to myself completely out of the blue… “I should look for cats on Craigs List!”. Never, in the history of my life, had I ever looked for any pets on Craigs List, so I don’t know what compelled me in that moment except for destiny. I opened the website on my phone… navigated myself to ‘Pets for Adoption in Snohomish County’ … and the very first posting that I saw said something to the effect of, “Kittens for adoption in Marysville, WA”. I clicked on the ad… and I cannot make this up….. THIS photo is the first thing I saw:
“PANCAKE!!!”, I screamed — and it was a literal scream, not a figurative one. I could not believe my eyes… what were the odds? Aaron and I didn’t need another cat, but I couldn’t help myself. I wrote back to the woman the next day with this message:
A few days later, I went to the home where Pancake was living, and learned a bit more about his story: he had been rescued from a feral colony, but had not yet become a feral cat. His left ear is ‘tipped’ — which means that the tip of his ear was snipped off during a surgery, where he was neutered and vaccinated. Ear tipping is a way that feral/community cats who have been a part of a TVNR (Trap Vaccinate Neuter Return) program are able to be identified as previously trapped (so that they aren’t re-trapped and operated on unnecessarily). When I first met Pancake, he was very shy and timid and didn’t like to be held. He was living in a small cage, and while he was being treated well, I couldn’t bear to leave him there. A few weeks later — after our home was inspected by the woman who runs the TVNR program — Pancake joined our family.
Pancake was very skittish at first, and spent most of the first few weeks living in a bathroom (by choice) and/or under our couch. But gradually, he started coming out of his shell. Aaron and I eventually decided that we wanted to re-name Pancake, so we started trying to pick a fitting name for such a special little cat that arrived in our lives with so much serendipity. Eventually, I stumbled across the name Esa, and when I read the meaning of the word — I knew it was perfect. ‘Esa’ means, the universe delivers.
Esa is a constant reminder to me that we can create the things that we focus on and that we can create goodness with the power of the love, gratitude and appreciation that exists within each of us. Over the past 4 years, he has grown into a wonderful, loving and affectionate little cat — I don’t know why our paths crossed in early 2020, but I can say that he has been a constant source of companionship and kindness and laughter… and I couldn’t imagine our little cat herd without him (even if Cinder would sometimes prefer that he didn’t exist).
Recently … I started telling Aaron that I wanted a fourth cat. I specifically told him that I wanted a cream colored cat… and I probably should have known better. A few weeks after I expressed my secret dream to Aaron… a never-before-seen cream colored cat arrived in our neighborhood. We now are the adoptive parents of a 4th cat — who also appears to have been part of a TVNR program, because this cat also has a visible ear tip. The cat is very skittish and not approachable… but arrives punctually every single day for food… and I’m convinced that it will ultimately soften to my cat-food laden love. While I originally named the cat ‘Sprinkles’ as a little bit of a joke… we’ve now renamed this new cat, ‘Jasper’. If you’re wondering… why the cat is named Jasper? Well, we named it after our doorbell.
And that’s a totally different story.
Snapshot 3: Me and Esa
When I first started writing these two stories, I didn’t think they were connected… but as I started writing, I realized that I had been mistaken. Whether you are creating a pee cloth company… or a pair of shorts… or a cat named Pancake or Sprinkles… the process is the same. It starts with, in some way, believing that it is possible. It starts with casting a vision out into the fabric of the universe — and not telling yourself that it can’t be done. There are some thoughts and ideas in life that are ‘stickier’ than others, because we’ve been told so many things for a long time: businesses fail… you need to be a clothing designer to make clothes… nobody will ever buy a pee cloth with art on it… you don’t have the experience to do that. As a result of these sticky thoughts… we end up getting ‘stuck’ on them — and it is through the process of loosening their grasp that we allow the answers to arrive. Other things — like finding a cat… well, we don’t have as many ‘sticky’ beliefs about something like that … so often those magical moments breeze into our life experience with little to no effort.
A few days ago, I saw a car with a bumper sticker on the back that said, “Don’t Believe Everything You Think.” I believed most of the thoughts in my mind for most of my life… and I’m sad to say that many of those thoughts weren’t helpful. The thoughts that told me I couldn’t do things… or that an idea was dumb or impossible… those were thoughts based on an old, outdated computer program that had been operating in my own mind for a long, long time.
What could be possible if we could approach all situations in life with the simple ease of believing that it is possible to find a cat named Pancake? What if I hadn’t told myself I couldn’t design shorts in 2008? What if I hadn’t told myself for decades that my ideas were silly and reckless? What if, instead, I had — with a giddy expectation for goodness — believed that, against all odds, all things were possible? As much as I might spread the good word about the infinite possibilities of this universe — I’m oddly glad and grateful that I didn’t know. I’m glad that nobody told me. I am glad that I had to figure it out — because the joy of learning how to create… the joy of waking up to what is possible is so sweet that it makes the contrast of not knowing even more delicious.
It’s funny that I originally named my cats Pancake and Sprinkles. I had almost entirely forgotten this memory… but as a kid, we used to go to a small cafe in Pennsylvania that made the most enormous pancakes I have ever seen. How enormous? Well, let’s just say that the ‘spatula’ they used to flip them on the griddle… was a metal dust pan. These were mega pancakes. I could barely eat 1/16th of one of these pancakes, but I always ordered the chocolate chip pancake with sprinkles. Life, with all of its ups and downs, sometimes feels like that to me: a giant, impossibly large pancake with sprinkles on it. As I sat in the cafe as a kid, I’d anxiously await the arrival of my 18-inch diameter pancake — as it arrived, my eyes would widen and I’d inhale the sweet aroma of pancake batter, chocolate and sprinkles. In those moments, it felt like I had everything. There was nothing I needed to become… and, clearly, if a chocolate chip sprinkles pancake could be flipped with a dustpan… anything was possible. I haven’t always lived my life like that 11 year old girl, but I’m really trying to now. I’m trying to be open to the possibilities of life… I’m trying not to believe all of the things that I told myself for decades. I might not remember it all the time… but if I forget, I can put on my ridiculously colorful pair of hiking shorts… hug my cats… and hopefully, I’ll remember.
Friends, thank you so much for being here! I’m so grateful for your kindness, interest and support. I had a lot of fun reflecting back on the process of my (first!) shorts design… and also a lot of fun writing about my cats. I hope that these stories can, in some small way, remind you that the first step is always believing that something is possible — even if you don’t know how. Trust yourself — you are so much more brilliant than you could possibly know!
I am sending you all so much love — and wishes for a beautiful week.
P.S. If you are interested in testing a pair of my new Pyka shorts — please submit your name and e-mail + size (you can use the Pyka Pants size chart) using this form. I will likely have around 20 different pairs to test (a few in each size), so I won’t be able to select many folks — but I’d love to give this opportunity to Kula Diaries subscribers in appreciation for all of your support!
Looking forward to your television series from the white board! Will it be a detective drama, adventure game show, or something else?
I love this story combo! Your story connection reminds me of a professor I had in graduate school that described learning as a process of introducing students to material they can connect with, make learning relevant to something they already know. Believing in oneself is a difficult concept to teach but your stories provide a good trail marker to help show the way.