Plugging back into right now
*an eternal practice
Dear Kula Diaries,
This past week felt like a bit of a blur. After injuring my back last week, I spent a few days relatively immobile — allowing my back to rest so that I could move around again. On Tuesday, I awkwardly hobbled through the airport and flew to Salt Lake City for a single day visit to an outdoor industry show called Outdoor Retailer, where I had been asked to present on a panel with Lloyd, the co-founder of Garage Grown Gear. After my presentation, we flew home the next day. I had originally intended to take Friday off, but the electricity at our office had been out on Thursday, and my employee Ashley had done an amazing job getting as much done as possible — but it meant that none of our Thursday orders were able to ship out on time. If you don’t own a small business in the era of Amazon’s same-day delivery expectations… let me be clear: customers have no tolerance for orders that take a few days to ship, even though we (very clearly) do not have the infrastructure of Amazon. So, Aaron and I headed back into the office for a full day of packing orders and getting caught up on things.
When I got home after working for the day, I sat down on the couch to do a meditation. I put in my earbuds… selected a meditation on Insight Timer… pressed, ‘Play’, and… I don’t remember anything else. I drifted away almost instantly — overwhelmed by 5 days of non-stop doing.
I had planned to write this post during my time in Salt Lake City, but that simply didn’t happen… so, here I am, on Saturday morning, drinking my coffee and hoping to share a few meaningful words with all of you. These are, after all, The Kula Diaries — and I like to think that I do a good job of sharing all of this interesting journey — in the hopes that what I see along the way might also be a little trail blaze to you, wherever and however you are right now.
Today, I want to use this space to plug back into presence… to let go of the of the overwhelm of the week — and come back to a place of appreciation and gratitude. When I feel busy, I sometimes get into a space of trying to work harder so that I can, ‘fit more in’ — incorrectly believing that if I work more, I’ll get more done. Invariably, this turns into a tsunami of arbitrary responsibilities that I assign myself, endlessly. Let me clear: this is not the quest we were tasked with in life. When I am swept up in a feeling of busyness of overwhelm, I’ve learned that this is not a cue to do more… but rather, a signal that I need to be more… as in… slow down.
Last weekend, The Musical Mountaineers and Friends performed at the NW Stream Center in Mill Creek, Washington. We had an amazing audience of folks who joined us to share a night of music and nature — and all proceeds were donated to the NW Stream Center (I believe we raised over $7,000 for the Steam Center!). I could barely move leading up to this concert due to my back injury, and, quite honestly, I was a little bit nervous that I wouldn’t be able to make it through the concert. Maybe it was the combination of adrenaline and love that I felt during the beautiful event, but somehow, I managed to pull it off, and the concert was simply one of the most special evenings I have had in a very long time.
When Rose and I started playing music together more than 7 years ago, it was just us — two women playing unannounced concerts for nobody in the middle of the mountains at sunrise. But, when you begin to share your gifts with others — it often attracts other incredible humans into your life experience. Over the past few months, we’ve been playing music (for fun) monthly with a growing assortment of talented, musical friends. For our most recent concert, our friends joined us for some Irish fiddling (among other tunes), and it was such an enjoyable experience to share our music together.
Here we are playing John Ryan’s Polka to end the concert (it’s so fun… listen for all the different instrument solos - violin, flute, guitar, banjo and mandolin!):
Ok… but back to my Salt Lake City trip… In 2018, I went to my very first Outdoor Retailer — carrying a bag of Kula Cloth prototypes that I had made on my sewing machine in my guest bedroom. I had absolutely no clue what I was doing, but I did have a dream to start a ‘real’ gear company… and I did believe that it was possible, even though I had no clue how to do it. On a complete whim, I sent a cold call e-mail to this ‘new company’ called Garage Grown Gear… telling them that I had created an intentionally designed pee cloth. Against all odds, the co-founder Lloyd, told me that he wanted to meet with me. On a warm summer day in 2018, I met Lloyd by a gigantic blue statue of a bear outside the conference center, and showed him my handmade Kulas. He flipped them over in his hand and looked at them a bit skeptically. He promised to deliver one to Amy, his female co-founder, who would test them. A few weeks later I received an e-mail, “Amy loved the Kula Cloth. When you get your company started, let us know — we’ll be your first wholesale order.”
Over 7 years later, Garage Grown Gear is one of our biggest customers — I can’t even fathom the thousands of Kulas that they’ve sold over the past few years. More importantly, they’ve been friends and some of my biggest supporters over the years. It’s funny how the universe works out, sometimes. This past week, Lloyd interviewed me for a panel in front of an audience of about 150 people. He was asking me questions about working with small brands as a retailer — and I shared, from my heart, about the experience of being a (relatively) tiny brand in the overwhelmingly huge space of the outdoor industry. It’s special to be a small brand because you can do things that genuinely make a difference in people’s lives — you can go out of your way to make a real connection and relationship.
Seven years ago, meeting with Lloyd on the steps of Outdoor Retailer, I don’t think that I could have imagined that one day, he’d be asking me for my expertise as a brand in the outdoor industry. At that point, the entirety of Kula Cloth was contained within a single backpack that I carried onto a plane and stowed under the seat in front of me. Kula was an idea that I carried in my heart, and one that I knew could become real, if I allowed it to grow.
This morning, I walked in the rain — feeling deeply grateful for the cool air of the Pacific Northwest (it had been over 90 degrees in Salt Lake City!). I laid down on the ground in partially-finished Homestead Two and I did a meditation while I listened to the rain on the roof. I felt like I had been ‘on the go’ non stop… and I hadn’t even had the chance to process or appreciate the entirety of the week — the concert, the outdoor retailer event, and the fact that my husband and I were on a business trip together for a company that we started in our guest bedroom nearly 7 years ago. So, I sat on the floor of unfinished Homestead Two and I decided to watch one of the videos from our concert — specifically, our performance of Colors of the Sky, a song by Chad Lawson that was arranged for violin and piano by Rose.
I don’t know what it was about listening to this song… and maybe it was just the exhaustion of the week catching up with me, but as I sat on the ground, I felt the tension in my body melting away. I dissolved into simply being and listening… carried away by the notes. I ceased to be my sore back… or my business… or my to-do list… I just was. I just am. And so are you.
It’s easy to forget that we are, because we’re so often identified with what we are doing… the places we are going… the tasks we are completing. I talk a lot about being here, because it’s something that I need to intentionally remind myself to do. Getting lost in the world of our mind is not being — it’s not restful to overthink and to inundate ourselves constantly with the chaos of everything. If you get a few moments today to watch our short video, I hope that it gives you that same feeling too. I hope that it reminds you that you are good, just as you are. I hope it reminds you that you don’t need to do anything in order to be better. I hope that, as you connect back into the energy source of love, that you feel refreshed and rejuvenated — and that your connection inspires you to new ideas and opportunities that will spark deep creativity and joy within your own life. You don’t need to carry the burden of the whole world on your back at all times, friends. It’s OK to unplug… and plug in, if you need it.
Sending you all so much love today, and all days!
I love to marry you