Ask Me Anything!
Small Business Love, What to do with an idea + When you feel stuck
Dear Kula Diaries,
I hope all of you are having a beautiful day today.
First, I wanted to take a small pause — because as the owner of a tiny-but-mighty business (and an enthusiastic supporter of other tiny-but-mighty businesses), it would feel wrong to let this weekend pass, on the heels of Small Business Saturday, without mentioning a few of my favorite brands run by my dear friends.
For the record, none of these businesses know I’m mentioning them. Nobody asked me to. Nobody paid me. These are simply the places where I am choosing to spend my own money this year on holiday gifts. And as a small business owner myself, I can tell you … it makes more of a difference than you could possibly imagine.
These aren’t faceless corporations churning out stuff to meet quarterly targets. These are humans. People who are (seriously) packing their own orders (sometimes out of their own home). People for whom every single purchase genuinely matters.
And speaking of small business goodness: I would be remiss if I didn’t enthusiastically mention that the Kula Cloth website is celebrating its annual holiday sale. We’ve got 20–40% off everything — all Kulas, our patent-pending Rapunzel Neck Gaiter, and free misfit Kulas for orders over $35. And that’s all I’ll say about the Kula sale today. Hopefully you’ve been getting my holiday e-mails… they’ve been quirkier than ever…
Here are a few of the other small businesses I love, run by humans I love:
Rawlogy and Rawlogy Labs — founded by my friend Marek. He’s leading a 12-day Midlife Energy Reset starting Monday, December 1st (that’s TOMORROW!). I signed up (with my own money!), and I’d love for you to join me. It’s ten minutes per day, and I’m honestly excited to see what shifts. You can sign up for the reset here (and let me know if you do, so we can chat about it!!): 12-day Midlife Energy Reset and if you want a SNEAK PEAK of what to expect, you can look at THIS POST HERE for a sample of the type of mini exercises that we will be completing together for 12 days — I’m super excited about it!
Alpine Fit — owned by my friend Jen in Bellingham, WA. High-quality technical apparel designed with real humans in mind.
I sometimes make the mistake of only showing gear designed for women — but Alpine Fit also make’s men’s gear too! Youer — created by my friend Mallory in Missoula… most of the clothing features her original art!
Livsn Designs — co-founded by my friend Andrew in Arkansas. Beautiful, gear that is designed to last for a long time so that you don’t need to have so much ‘stuff’
These are the Livsn x Gnara overalls — with a built in pee zipper! Garage Grown Gear — co-founded by my friend Lloyd. A celebration of the cottage-gear community…. stuff you can’t buy at the big box stores. GGG is the #1 champion of small brands in the outdoor industry — hands down, no questions asked.
Coalition Snow — a woman-owned ski company, founded by my dear friend Jen Gurecki, who is currently undergoing treatment for breast cancer (and writing about it very candidly) . Jen is an icon in the women’s outdoor gear community… she’s the type of woman who says what she means and practices what she preaches. She’s just a really good person, and I love watching her brand! Her gift guide this year is called Bitches on a Budget and it’s SO GOOD!
Good Intents — inflatable tents and shelters designed by the unbelievably kind and creative Danielle (we met when she purchased a Kula Cloth on our website and I noticed the name of her business and sent her a surprise custom Kula!)… who is also giving away matching Kulas with tent purchases this holiday season. I have to show you these tents… they are wildly amazing…
Christina Looney Art — created by my dear friend Christina, whose work never ceases to amaze me… she also has a custom Kula Cloth for sale on her website and her rainbow morel mushroom print is one of my all time favorites (I bought an original to gift to my sister last year for Christmas!)
Gnara — co-founded by my friend Georgia Grace. They make patented pants with a built-in zipper so you can pee without taking your pants down. A pee-volution! Also, their pants are 40-50% off right now!
And truly… there are so many more. I could sit here all day and still not come close to naming every person I adore who is creating something beautiful in the world.
All of this is simply to say: we hear “shop small” a lot, and sometimes the message becomes so familiar that we forget what it actually means. It means that individual people — real people — are affected in profound and meaningful ways by your choice. It means that someone out there gets to keep making their art, or paying their bills, or bringing their one-of-a-kind goodness into the world because of you.
Yes, big brands have their place. But, if the option exists, I always choose to shop from the smaller brand. So, from one small business owner to all of you: thank you. Your mindfulness when you make a purchase really, truly matters.
Now… onto the next part of our adventure. today…
I wanted to dig back into the Kula Diaries Vault to answer a few questions that felt like they could inspire some uplifting feelings and a bit of hope and excitement, so I’ve selected two that are near and dear to my own heart. If you have a burning question you’d like me to include in an upcoming AMA, feel free to drop it in the vault (I’ve been busily answering questions behind the scenes and I have some pretty juicy AMAs coming soon!). Here’s the spot to leave questions:
Ok, time for the questions (and I’m sharing some random photos + updates along the way, just because I love sharing photos!). Here goes:
Dear AMA,
Sometimes I look around at my life and I don’t recognize the person that I see and I have no idea how I got here. But I also don’t know how to get anywhere else. I feel very trapped where I am. But I’m open to the idea that something else could exist for me.
There’s a big difference between looking and listening.
Many people spend their lives and countless worrisome hours looking for the answers, looking for clarity. When we are looking for something, we’re often focused on the lack of that thing in our lives, which ultimately leads us to finding more of the lack of what we’re looking for.
It’s counterintuitive, but let me use a silly example to explain. A few days ago, my husband was looking for a small Bluetooth stereo that we knew that we had, and we both spent about an hour looking for it, and couldn’t remember where we had put it. We looked everywhere. We looked under things where it couldn’t even possibly fit, and were surprised that we couldn’t find it. The following day, I was at work and opened up a bag in my office, and immediately, there it was, the Bluetooth stereo that we had spent the entire previous day looking for.
We’ve all had those experiences. In the moment that we stop looking for something, we often find it.
It works the same when you are seeking answers in your life. If you are looking hard for them, if you are needing clarity about something, then oftentimes it is in those moments when the clarity is the most elusive, because the energy of what we are focused on and what we ourselves are creating is the energy of a lack of clarity, and therefore clarity cannot arrive.
The difference between looking and listening for answers is that when you look, you’re focused on what’s not there, and when you’re listening, you’re simply allowing what is there to arrive. When your ears and heart are open, you’re saying, “I know this is here, and I am allowing it to enter my realm of existence”. You are sitting in a sense of expectant patience, not needing anything to show up, but simply being ready for the moment in which it does, because you trust in that moment.
The second most important part of this process is training yourself to be open to the infinite possibilities of life, when perhaps we have told ourselves for most of our life that certain things aren’t possible.
When I look back at the stories that I told myself for a very long time, most of them were centered around money and what wasn’t possible for me, and the fact that I would be an idiot to leave my job to do something else, and that I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself, and that I would fail, and that I would look stupid. Yikes. That’s an exhausting way to live, isn’t it? I felt completely trappd by very lackful, fearful beliefs that were very entwined in my belief system, and one by one, I dismantled those and began to prove to myself that indeed, this was possible.
In fact, there are other people, in fact there are many other people out there, who have created their own career, or job, or life, or whatever it is, from exactly where they are. As we acknowledge these possibilities, we can begin to allow a new truth to soak in: if it was possible for them, it is possible for me too.
I was very quick to write off the possibilities for many years. I’d say things like, well how am I going to pay for this, or it’ll be impossible for me to figure this out, and in doing that, I shut down the infinite ways in which those things could have figured themselves out, had I been open to it.
I’m not saying rush out tomorrow and quit your job because there are infinite possibilities in the universe. What I’m saying is that part of this process is gently massaging your own belief system to being in a place where you are open to the fact that all the things that you are now currently worried about could indeed be solved easily and readily. And that there is a way to figure out whatever it is that you need to figure out in life, even if you don’t know what that way is.
Be open to the idea that something completely unexpected and untraditional could happen. So, listening first, being open next, and then connecting with the universe to feel the energy of life itself that lives within you. It’s the energy of creation that continues to fuel our path as we wander toward the unknown.
It’s like the paint that we dip our paintbrush into to get started on the process of painting our canvas. The truth is this, we’ve been painting our own life canvas all along. We just didn’t realize it. We thought that life was happening to us, when really we are the ones who have been creating the life that we are now currently living. Which also means that at any point in time, we can create something new.
And once we understand and learn how to begin that process, we can start. And it starts so simply and so small. It starts within our own hearts. It starts within our minds. It starts with allowing ourselves to visualize what it is we might want for ourselves.
As you connect with love and gratitude and appreciation in genuine ways that cultivate those deep feelings within you, you are wetting the brush. You are putting out a sign to the universe that says, I’m ready. And in that place, little ideas, images, inspiration, opportunities might start to flow.
This is when the listening begins to happen… this is when ideas start to bloom. (If an idea does bloom, go on to the next question, because I’ll talk about that more specifically there!) If an idea does bloom, it’s important to remember that this is sometimes fragile, and that it must be treated with reverence as the gift that it is.
From this place of gratitude, the most important thing you can do is simply sit and allow yourself the gift of dreaming, the gift of seeing what it is that you want to create for your life. Sometimes at first, this might seem a little bit cloudy or blurry. But as you begin to tap more and more into a sense of openness and possibility, you might discover that certain things feel or seem more important to you.
Maybe you have a better idea of what you’d like to spend your time doing, but aren’t sure how. Maybe you see yourself living in a new place. Whatever it is, without needing to know how it’s possible, allow yourself a few minutes every day to simply sit and visualize yourself in this new reality, in this new life.
If nothing is coming through clearly, simply allow yourself to feel the energy of what you want to experience in life. Freedom, creativity, joy, happiness, wellness, abundance. See if you can intentionally sit and cultivate these feelings from within yourself.
The more and more you do it, the more and more you practice this habit, the more and more you will create. The feelings that you are currently existing within are feelings that you have created through a lifetime of practice with them. And just as you created those, you can also create something new. Something that maybe feels more in alignment with who you are.
Above all things, trust yourself. And know that you are deserving and worthy of anything you can dream. And that bringing your unique gifts and goodness into the world is a selfless gift that adds to the ripple of love that all of us need very much.
Dear AMA,
I have an idea for something and I’m currently working at a job I don’t like. I’ve always wanted to do something a little bit more adventurous, but I’m not sure where to start. Any advice would be appreciated.
The best place to start when you have an idea is exactly where you are. I am a person who has always had a million different ideas. And as soon as I would start thinking about them, or wondering how they were possible, I quickly talked my way out of them. The mind is a powerful tool, but it’s also often, and unfortunately, a place where good dreams go to die. We often stop ourselves before we can get started and chalk the idea up to just being a, ‘whim’ or ‘something silly’. We convince ourselves that it would be a failure… and we talk ourselves out of it.
So most importantly, the best place you can start is where you are. And begin to shift your mindset to one of expectant curiosity. Learn to be okay with not needing to know all the answers. Simply acknowledge that a beautiful gift has arrived for you. In some way, shape, or form, you’ve been asking for, or wanting to create this gift. And you have placed yourself in such a state of gratitude and appreciation for openness that this gift arrives. Begin to see and feel that, without it needing to become anything at all, the idea itself is a gift.
The excitement or inspired energy that you feel as you ponder the first few moments of this idea are a time when you often feel full of possibilities. Your mind hasn’t yet come in and inserted a whole bunch of what-ifs, and imaginary maybes, or doomsday scenarios. Instead, you’re simply open and accepting and receptive and receiving. So at first, just enjoy this and let yourself feel excited, and loved, and jus experience the fun of it.
Next, as you begin to ponder, practice the noticing. If you find yourself talking yourself out of it, notice that you’re doing that. If you find yourself telling yourself things about how this probably won’t work out, just like every other idea that has never worked out, notice that you’re doing that, too. The remedy for all of these things is love. Because in a place of love, and connection, and gratitude, and appreciation, more ideas and inspiration will flow, and you will remain open to the possibilities. You can’t be grateful, and loving, and doubtful all at the same time.
The art of noticing is what creates a gap between a thought and who you truly are. Instead of believing your thoughts to be true, there is now a tiny space that exists in between. This is a place where love can arrive, and remind you that all things are possible. Intentionally move yourself into a place of gratitude. I’m not sure what that looks like for you, but for me, it’s often when I’m outside, when I am spending time in nature, or playing music, or reflecting on important moments in my life, and speaking about them out loud. Whatever it is, do what you can to cultivate that feeling of gratitude.
If it helps, you can also envision yourself living out this new idea, a new reality, as if it is real, but only if you can have fun in the process. If visualizing it brings about a sense of stress or anxiety, focus on something that is easier for you to ponder.
From a place of gratitude, and not fear or scarcity, and without getting too deep into the thought process, simply ask yourself (or the universe) what your next step should be. When I say, ‘ask yourself’, I’m not talking about you specifically, the human who roams the earth. I’m talking about your higher self (or the universe, if that’s more helpful), as Eckhart Tolle says, the deep ‘I’. It might sound and feel a bit ‘woo woo’ or intangible, and that’s ok — it is. But recall for a moment — your idea came, in the first place, from this ‘nothingness’ — a blank canvass of possiblities. The idea might not have arrived intentionally, but you can reach this place again. Sit and listen and see if any ideas pop, or if you feel inspired to do one particular thing. If not, simply remain in a state of gratitude and openness as much as you can, and watch what happens next. See if you feel inspired by people you meet, places you go, or other ideas that arise.
Without fail, you will be inspired to do something next. I don’t know what it will be, maybe it will be a phone call, maybe it will be trying your hand at making a prototype, maybe you’ll meet the right person who can help you out.
Whatever it is, begin the process of following your own ideas and inspiration and coming back to yourself, coming back to gratitude, appreciation, and love, over and over again in that process. Soon, you’ll find a rhythm, and the gratitude and appreciation simply become who you are, and the entire process itself begins to feel more flowy and less segmented. And as you do that, your life also begins to feel more flowy and less choppy. It’s as if the right people arrive at the right time, and the ideas keep flowing, and things feel fun.
That’s not to say that there aren’t bumps along the road, but now, instead of those bumps talking you out of what you’re doing, they lead you more deeply into the goodness and fullness of what you are creating. In fact, the bumps themselves become a part of the creation process, not a deterrent to it.
Most importantly, have fun, and don’t take it too seriously. The ideas that you have were meant to be brought into this world, and I can’t wait to see what you create.
Friends — thank you all SO MUCH for being here, thank you for supporting small businesses and thank you for showing up every week to read the things that I write. It brings me great joy to be able to share this wonderful adventure with all of you — and I hope that it inspires you, in some small way, on your own path.
I’m sending you so much love today, and all days!
Awww. Thanks for recommending my art! 💜💜💜 I just got home from a very long and kind of weak holiday market and that brightened my day. 🥰