AMA with AMA: Answering YOUR questions!
Cat updates... things I wish I had learned... and how I teach (many) hygiene classes!
Dear Kula Diaries,
It’s that time of week where I get to answer YOUR questions in my weekly ‘AMA’ — ASK ME ANYTHING — column!
Last week, I started out with some fun updates… and I’m going to do the same this week… because… dang it, I’ve just been on a roll with the fun times!
Most of you are well aware of the cat situation at my house … about 6 months ago, a stray cat showed up at our house… we originally named him Sprinkles… and then changed his named to Jasper. We’ve now been feeding Jasper … every. single. day. … for almost half of a year. A few weeks ago, we decided to try and trap Jasper — to see if he might be interested in living with us in our home, and trapping him has proved to be much more challenging than we originally anticipated.
I think that Aaron and I both envisioned that he’d stroll into the trap… and that’d be it. But, NO. it has not been like that. We have enticed him with everything: sardines, rotisserie chicken, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Clams, Salmon, Mackerel… and he has resisted the urge entirely. He will very timidly poke his head into the trap… but will absolutely not go into it. Meanwhile, we went for about 2 weeks of not sleeping much, because our security camera kept going off, anytime an animal came onto our porch — we have to monitor the trap if it’s ‘set’, because as soon as a cat gets trapped, it’s very important to cover the trap so that the cat doesn’t flail around and harm themselves.
In addition to Jasper, our porch is now also being frequented by an opossum named pMidnight (that’s not a typo -ha!) and an orange cat named Fox. We have no idea where Fox came from. Fox and pMidnight are both aggressive eaters, and they willingly go into the trap for food — but, most recently, we’ve de-activated the trapping mechanism in an attempt to allow Jasper to get comfortable with its presence. Our hope is that he will end up going into the trap to get food over time, and then, eventually, we will be able to re-activate the trap.
Needless to say, it is a SLOW PROCESS for this to happen, and Jasper remains a wild critter that we have, oddly enough, learned to love through the videos that we watch of him. He is a funny little creature — fiercely independent and unbelievably intelligent — and I feel really lucky that he somehow found our home. We live in a very remote spot — about a mile up a road, and so I cannot even fathom how Jasper ended up ‘finding’ our house — but I’m so glad he did!
I will continue to provide updates on the cat situation as it unfolds!
Secondly, I have still been making my NOW Watches in my free time. This has become a very meditative practice for me, and something that I really look forward to doing. I love the idea of upcycling something, and I love working with my hands and creating something new from something that was once seen as a discarded object. I’ve also been wearing my own NOW watch almost daily, and I’ve discovered that it is truly a beautiful reminder to be present. A few days ago, I found myself feeling very busy and rushed, and I instinctively looked at my watch, ‘to see what time it was’… and, of course, this is what I saw:
It made me instantly smile… take a deep breath… and laugh. I needed to slow down.
When I worked in Law Enforcement, I read a book called, Emotional Survival For the Law Enforcement Officer. One of the things mentioned in the book was the concept of, ‘becoming a usta’. What is a ‘usta’? Well, it’s somebody who used to do this… or used to do that… but now does not much of anything (other than work).
I could work 24 hours a day if I wanted to — I always have ideas, and sometimes I do find myself feeling like I need to work more or need to work harder. It’s really difficult to turn it off sometimes, but I know how important it is to rest and rejuvenate. I know how important it is to actually do the creative things that excite me. I know how important it is to simply be here now and to allow myself to have a break from the constant feeling that I’m not doing enough or that I’m falling behind.
In this moment, I am exactly how I am. I’m just here. I’m whole. Everything I need is right here, in this very moment… now.
This is a very random update, but I started a LinkedIn account! I broke up with my cell phone last year, but I still do use my phone. I had completely avoided LinkedIn for a very long time — because I had no idea what it was about, but I’ve actually had a good time with it. I also find it pretty funny, because so many people are sharing ‘sage business advice’, with a large emphasis on things like numbers and metrics and returns and… then I decided to start posting videos of myself wearing a unicorn mask.
I’m probably a bit of an outlier in the world of LinkedIn, and I definitely consider myself a bit of an oddball entrepreneur — but I’m also not willing to change that, because I’m a lot happier when I don’t do what everybody else tells me to do and when I don’t sacrifice the quality of my entire life for something outside of myself.
Ok, those are my updates…. and now, one final little bit of something fun…
I thought I’d start with a nugget of inspiration, because… well.. it just seemed like the right thing to do. So, here goes:
You were born on this planet Only one of you exists You matter so much You have so many gifts Not one person alive Sees the universe like you There's not much I know But this much is true Who you are is important Your dreams are not silly So keep walking that path Even when it gets hilly Each up and each down A lesson you learn A new opportunity exists Around every single turn Don't let go of ideas They are meant to stay alive As you nurture them with love They start to thrive And what starts as a glimmer Will burn as a spark And the light in your soul Will brighten the dark The more glimmers that rise The more light we will see The more people will bring Their unique creativity A ripple in a pond It starts very small But soon all that joy Is shared with the all It only takes a single Person who decides to decide That they won't live small anymore That they weren't meant to hide And as that blossoming happens A flower so rare The beauty, unimaginable Extending infinite care To all who are part Of this cosmic river above And we keep flowing on Powered by that infinite love.
Friends, it is totally OK if you are where you are — because, well, that’s simply where you are supposed to be. I also want you to know that each of you are so unbelievably special and precious, and that the world is a better place when we choose to uplift each other and choose to see the goodness that lives inside each of us. I hope that, today, you will follow your little impulses… do something creative… allow yourself to laugh… and give yourself the gift of something fun.
Ok, time for the questions — thanks for reading my little poem!
Dear AMA,
What's one piece of advice you wish you had received when you were in school?
I went to Catholic school from 1st through 7th grade, and then I was homeschooled from 8th through 12th grade … so I definitely didn’t have a ‘traditional’ schooling experience. My Catholic school years were fraught with me attempting to buck the system — I didn’t ‘fit into’ the mold (does anybody?), and often refused to do the assigned worksheets. I didn’t understand math very well, and when I failed a math test, I remember that my teacher stapled my failed math paper on the front of my take home folder. I was required to have my parents sign it, and when I couldn’t understand how parentheses worked in math, I felt frustrated and stupid. The only time that I felt somewhat ‘normal’ was when I was writing stories… playing my violin… or playing outside.
Homeschooling was a dream for me — because most of my days were spent making my own schedule, and studying the things that interested me the most. I often skimped on my math homework, because I didn’t enjoy it much … but I loved my college level Latin class, and I thrived in my creative writing classes and my time spent playing music. I was also very entrepreneurial as a kid, and had so many different business ideas — but, very quickly talked myself out of most of them based on what I knew about businesses: Most businesses fail. Or, at least that’s what I had been told.
I wish that I had been taught, from day one of my life, that everything was possible. I wish that I had been taught that all I needed to do was to dream about something and believe in myself — with absolutely no limits — and trust that things would, in some way, come together. I wish that I had been told to follow my little impulses, no matter how insignificant they seemed. I wish I had been taught that my thoughts were not necessarily true — and that I didn’t need to believe everything that I thought in my mind. I wish I had known that my thoughts were not me, and that beyond those thoughts, existed a world of freedom… creation… infinite expansiveness… and joy.
I wish I had been taught all of those things, but I wasn’t. And so, instead, I had the absolute joy of figuring them out on my own. There might have been a lot of bumps in the road along the way, but it’s been fun to figure it out… and to continuously be figuring it out. Each moment of stuck-ness in my life… each time when I didn’t believe in myself, simultaneously created an opening for more expansiveness and more growth — that was all patiently waiting for me, while I followed my own path to discover the truth about things. Each of us, I believe, walks this path in some way in our own lives — we each have some sort of journey to embark upon during our time on this planet, and this, was mine. I honestly don’t wish that anything had been done differently, because I needed to see all of the things that have happened along the way in order to really appreciate the deliciousness of life. I’m so grateful for the people who have doubted me, for the people who have believed in me — and for the cumulative experience of everything that has swirled around to paint a never-ending, always-changing canvas of life. It’s sometimes messy and frustrating, but it is beautiful.
Dear AMA,
Did you give 2+ online talks about backpacking hygiene in the first week of June? How do you keep it interesting for yourself as a repeat presenter? Do you refer to notes or can you speak from memory at this point? By the way - I don’t tire of hearing your Mount Baker story - it’s a great way of potentially meeting the audience where they are, if new to this.
Dear Kula Diaries friend,
I did indeed give two backpacking hygiene classes during the first week of June… and I have another few classes scheduled as we move into July and August. I’m teaching a class for the Sno-Isle library system (so cool!), and I’m also hosting two classes for the 52-Hike Challenge (which is an amazing company, co-founded by my friend Karla Amador!).
I have a very basic framework for my class, which I’ve outlined on a piece of paper (that I keep by the computer as I’m presenting), but for the most part, I know the entire presentation by heart. The most important part (obviously), is the poem at the beginning of the class:
Then, I tell my infamous Mt. Baker-toilet-paper-heist story. Just as you indicated, the purpose of this story is to both introduce myself… but also to level the playing field a little bit, and make hygiene more relatable to everybody. I want folks to know that it’s absolutely OK if they do not know how to pee or poop in the woods — because there was a point in my life, when I didn’t know how to pee or poop in the woods either.
For anybody who is not familiar with the story, it goes like this:
I had the opportunity to climb Mt. Baker with a group of Park Rangers from Washington State Parks. This was, ridiculously, my very first ‘backpacking’ trip (although, decidedly, Mt. Baker is a glaciated volcano — and should absolutely not be somebody’s first backpacking trip). I had no idea what to pack for the climb, so I asked the group leader and he told me to pack, “Everything you would normally pack on a backpacking trip… and bring crampons, a harness and an ice axe.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I had no idea what to bring on a backpacking trip… and I certainly wasn’t about to tell him that I had no idea how to handle pooping or peeing in the woods. And so, I didn’t bring toilet paper. For some reason, I thought there would be a toilet — so, you can imagine my surprise, when there definitely was not a toilet.
Ultimately, I ended up furtively sneaking into my tentmate’s backpack to steal toilet paper, and the entire experience was very distracting for me. I spent a lot of the trip worried about how I was going to get more toilet paper if I had to poop again — and I was really embarrassed about my ‘carelessness’.
Upon reflection, I realized that if I had known about how to handle my hygiene properly, I would have had a much more connected experience in the backcountry — and I wouldn’t have spent so much time worrying. Nobody goes into the backcountry because they want to sit around and worry about toilet paper — and so, it’s my greatest hope that Kula Cloth… and, in particular, education around backcountry hygiene, will empower people to be more confident and prepared on their own wilderness explorations.
To be completely honest, it does not get boring to teach these hygiene classes to people, because I feel like it is truly such a gift and an honor to be able to share this information with more people who have their hearts and minds set on venturing deeper into the wilderness. I am a better person because of my experiences in the backcountry — and so I do not see a hygiene class as a means to an end… but rather, a jumping off point for these individuals. If I teach my class right, then I’m hopefully instilling in them something that is much more important than just basic information about hygiene. Yes, I do cover all of the basics of the 4Ps, but I hope that I give them a little bit more — I hope I peak their curiosity about the stillness and the connection that they will be able to discover in the wilderness, and I hope that they will notice that stillness when they adventure outside.
For most of my time as a hiker and mountaineer, I incorrectly believed that the way that I felt in the wilderness was exclusive to those moments in time. I exhausted myself — desperately trying to look for that sense of peace that I was able to find for a few brief seconds on a climb… only to return to my life, and feel that anxiousness start to creep back in. It wasn’t until I started to listen to the quiet, that I began to notice that it was around me — all the time. The wilderness is a thing that is not outside of us — it is in us, and we can find it when we tune in to ourselves more deeply.
When I teach my hygiene class, I hope that students can sense that there is something else beyond the surface message. I’ve often joked that my first book will be called, It’s Not About the Pee Cloth — because, really, it isn’t. A pee cloth is just a thing… but there’s something beyond each and every one of us… a miraculous cosmos that includes every single being in the entire universe. I hope that as people venture outside — they can feel a tiny sense of that awe and wonder. And I hope that they will be able to take a piece of that awe and wonder home with them.
Finally — even if you’ve done something many, many times — it’s never exactly the same thing… because you’ve never done it at exactly this moment in time. So, yes, it’s possibly true that I’ve taught hygiene classes multiple times in the same week… but I didn’t have the same audience both times (with the exception of my mother, who has attended more of my hygiene classes than any other human on earth - hahaha!). It’s my responsibility to show up fully for the people who are there — to honor their commitment to showing up by doing my best, every single time.
I genuinely love teaching hygiene classes. And, I mean, I really love it. I don’t know who I’ll get to teach next — but it is truly an honor to be able to share this knowledge, love and care with other humans and it’s absolutely one of my favorite parts of what I do for a living!
Friends, thank you all so much for being here this week, and for reading my weekly column! I’m having a lot of fun writing these answers and just seeing what comes to me each week as something that feels fun to share. I appreciate all of you with an immense amount of gratitude - and I hope that you all have a really beautiful week!
Sending you all so much love!
I love the now watches! Will you be selling them? 🤔
"The only time that I felt somewhat ‘normal’ was when I was writing stories… playing my violin… or playing outside." --> replace violin with clarinet and you're describing my childhood!