AMA with AMA: Answering Your Questions!

Random updates + The Power of Generosity

Dear Kula Diaries,

I hope that all of you are having a beautiful week so far — and thank you for being here for another AMA — Ask Me Anything! As always, if you’d like to submit a question for a future AMA, you can do that here.

I’m going to start this AMA a little differently… by sharing a few things that are really special and important to me, and I hope you enjoy reading about them!

First off, this past weekend, The Musical Mountaineers played a concert to benefit the NW Stream Center’s Sustainable Ecosystem Lab. It was a beautiful evening of music and connection, and journalist Azaria Podplesky wrote this wonderful piece about it for the Seattle Times:

Our concert ended up raising close to $11,000 for the Sustainable Ecosystem Lab, which is really incredible. When Rose and I started musical mountaineering many years ago, we didn’t quite fathom that our music would be able to give back to our planet in so many incredible ways! This concert was particularly special, because it featured not only The Musical Mountaineers — but also, our friends!

I gave Aaron my phone during the concert, and he was kind enough to take some really inspiring photos of the event.

My dear friend Chris Harnois, who is a miraculously talented flutist, joined the concert to play a trio with me and Rose. I introduced our trio by saying that there are very few people who have any desire to wake up at midnight to climb a mountain and play music at sunrise… but that Chris was one of them. Chris is one of the only humans (other than Rose and my husband Aaron), who has hiked with me into the backcountry for a sunrise serenade. Only July 28, 2019 — we summitted Guye Peak before sunrise for our very first flute and violin concert for nobody.

This weekend, prior to playing our first trio piece, in a comedic foreshadowing, I described that Chris and I had plans to play the ‘Flower Duet’ in the backcountry — however, we had misjudged our ability to turn the pages in the laughable 9-page version of the song that we carried with us on the trail. For the concert this past weekend, Chris and I played a duet of ‘Over the Rainbow’ — and hilariously (and tragically), the second page of Chris’ music was somehow upside down on their music stand and they were able to turn it right side up while playing the flute. It was an unexpected and magical moment in the concert that reminded me why playing live music can be so much fun.

Chris and I met many years ago through the wonders of social media when they discovered The Musical Mountaineers — and I absolute cherished the opportunity to perform with them in this concert. I actually have saved all of the videos from our own wilderness concert back in 2019, and I thought I’d share one with all of you, because it is just so special and beautiful. I hope we get to do another one sometime soon.

Chris Harnois and I perform 'Poor Wayfaring Stranger’ :

We performed the concert this past weekend to a sold out crowd — and even received a standing ovation. I attempted to make some thoughtful remarks at the end of the concert — but it felt a bit overwhelming to try and capture what it meant to be there and to be able to share our music with so many people. Rose and I have mostly performed concerts for nobody — and so, to see 150 faces staring back at us… to feel them feeling the music… well, that’s something that is very special. As a classically trained violinist who always believed that I wasn’t, ‘good enough’ to do something with my music — The Musical Mountaineers has always taught me that being myself is good enough. In fact, that is all I ever have to be.

Rose started the concert by sharing this video, which aired on King 5 several years ago — a hike that we did with news anchor, Jordan Steele:

That video was filmed in 2019, and as I watched the video along with the audience, I was flooded with a sea of emotions: a deep love for who we were five years ago, and a feeling of profound joy for where we are now. It hasn’t necessarily been the ‘easiest’ five years of my life — but, listening to our words… it reminded me why we started climbing mountains with a violin and a piano to begin with. In the Seattle Times piece that ran this past week, I described the musical relationship that Rose and I have as, ‘being able to complete each other’s sentences’. From the first moment that we played music together — it felt different than it has with any other musician. It’s a connection that goes far beyond the notes that are on the page. I really do believe that we are able to coax something unexpected and special from within each song we play. After the concert, I told Rose how emotional I had felt when I had watched the video… and we both looked at each other and as if on cue, we said exactly the same thing at the same time, “We’ve lived a lot of life since then.”

We really have. There have been a lot of ups and downs — but the music… well, that’s always been there. And I hope it will continue to be there for a really long time.

This is a video of the ‘Forest Hymn’, which is a piece by Bill Douglas that Rose arranged for violin, piano and flute. I hope you enjoy it!

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Secondly, I was interviewed by journalist Jeff Totey with Seattle Refined a few months ago. When Jeff first contacted me, he felt a bit confused as to why he, a man, had been chosen to write an article about Kula Cloth. And yet, he dove into the story with openness — and for that, I am so grateful. This piece was featured in Seattle Refined this past week, and it made really proud of how far ‘little’ Kula Cloth has come in the past 6 years:

When it comes to Kula Cloth, I’m probably excessively hard on myself — and while it isn’t necessary for validation, it is a welcome treat to see Kula getting the recognition that it deserves. About 6 years ago, a pee cloth did not exist as a piece of gear. A pee cloth was a rag or a bandana, tied to somebody’s backpack. Even less desirable than that… many folks were hauling in lots of toilet paper… and some of that was being discarded improperly in alpine settings. Backpacker Magazine wrote a ‘debate’ about whether or not a pee cloth is an unnecessary ‘upsell’ — and while I’m obviously biased… I do believe that more people are open to the idea of using a pee cloth simply because Kula Cloth has normalized it. It no longer feels like a ‘taboo’ thing to talk about… and it no longer looks like a rag that somebody pulled out of a bin at a Jiffy Lube. Having an intentionally designed pee cloth just feels better (literally and metaphorically). One of the commenters on Backpacker’s instagram post (which is hilarious by the way) was from my friend Claire Giordano (a remarkable artist) who wrote:

It makes me so unbelievably proud to read these comments! I mean, seriously — PINCH ME! A few years ago, people would scrunch up their face if you mentioned using a ‘pee rag’ — but now? Hundreds of people flocked to the post to defend the mighty pee cloth… because it legitimately has made a difference. Not just in the amount of toilet paper discarded in the wilderness… but in how people feel when they are outside. Everybody deserves to be able to go outside and to be able to feel comfortable in their bodies — and we, as consciousness that exists within a physical body, have to think about things like pooping and peeing… and it makes me deeply happy to know that it has made a difference in the lives of others.

When I first started Kula Cloth, I found myself — many times — faced with a question that I couldn’t answer: Would anybody even use this product? I had quit my job… and dumped all of the money that I had into making this product — and yet, I had no idea if people would understand it. It was really terrifying to put it out into the world and to be open to receiving the answer to that question. In the early days, there were a lot of mean comments from people who did not understand what it was… but, I kept going, even on the days when I felt like a failure or a fool. I really did believe in my heart that it had the ability to be something really important — and I’m so glad I trusted myself and I’m so glad that I waited around long enough to receive the answer.

Many years ago, my dad asked me what my legacy was going to be — and I didn’t have an answer for him. At the time, I was divorced and living alone in a 600 sq ft apartment, and I know that he wanted me to have a husband and kids — but that didn’t feel like what I wanted for my life, and so I felt like a complete and utter disappointment. Somehow, I knew that my worth was not dependent on the things that I did, but rather, on who I was — simply as a human being who exists in this world.

I hope — from the bottom of my heart — that my legacy will not be remembered in terms of peeing outside or the number of Kula Cloths sold… but rather in the countless number of adventures that people were able to have while feeling more connected to themselves and more present to the world around them. I hope it can be measured in dance moves and cookies and the number of people that I convinced to start a meditation practice. I truly believe, in the deepest part of my soul, that the more and more we connect with all that is around us — we will be able to more effectively be the change that we want to see in the world. I might not solve all of the world’s problems with a pee cloth — but I bet there are some really good ideas out there in the wild right now that wouldn’t be happening if folks were sitting around worrying about their toilet paper situation.

So, all of this is simply to say: I’m proud of what we have done… what we are doing… and what we will continue to do. And if you ask me what my 5 or 10 year plan is? You’ll get one answer: to keep having fun, and to keep bringing something good into the world, and to love others a lot more.

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I don’t usually share so much Kula-related stuff in one post on the Kula Diaries, but this is exciting to me, because this is my very first patent-pending product! I’ve been working with John Pennington and Indhira Lapuma for the patent on my pigtail ports, and it has been such a cool process — in fact, I just saw the technical drawings for the gaiter last week, and I couldn’t believe that this was something I had designed!

These aren’t the technical drawings… but it’s still cool!

We just released our EVERYDAY Rapunzel Gaiter this past week, and it felt very exciting to me. When Aaron left his job a few years ago, we did something that most people would not have advised: we purchased a bunch of motorcycles so that we could ride together. I felt very excited and giddy about buying these motorcycles, and I had to trust that little impulse. A few months into our riding adventures, the weather became chilly and I started wearing a neck gaiter. To my disappointment, the neck gaiter didn’t do much for keeping my neck warm, because I have very long hair — this means that I’d have to either tuck my hair into my jacket (which snags on the zipper), or ‘floop’ my hair out of the collar of my jacket — which exposed my neck to the wind. One day, I thought to myself, “I can just cut slits in the sides of my neck gaiter, and thread my braids through it!”. I tried it, and it was miraculous. Then, I got curious…. “Is this a real thing?”, I wondered. I looked everywhere… it was not a real thing… yet.

And so, I worked with my pattern designer to create the very first ever long-hair compatible neck gaiter — aptly named, The Rapunzel Gaiter! Last year, we launched our first version of this gaiter — which is a fleece lined gaiter for cold weather. This past week, we launched the ‘everyday’ version of this gaiter — which is more suitable for warm and cool weather (not cold). This is a product that is near and dear to my heart, and it’s always exhilarating to create something and then to watch it head out into the world.

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Ok, that’s it for my fun updates — thanks for bearing with me — they’ve been really fun to write about and reflect on…. and now let’s get to a question from one of YOU (which I have decorated with more photos of my cats):

Dear AMA,

What are ways to be generous without using money? Is time the alternative? What else?

Dear Kula Diaries Reader,

When I first decided to change my life, one of the very first things that I did was write down a list of 7 different habits that I wanted to practice every single day. I realized that I had been living my life on repeat — and that if I wanted to change my life, I needed to change myself from within. One of those habits was giving. Every single day, I decided that I would find a way to give something to somebody else, with absolutely zero expectations.

While I’ve never been a person who you’d consider a miser, I also wouldn’t have considered myself particularly ‘generous’ for most of my life. If giving involved money — it was harder for me to give, because the ‘giving’ aspect of this… felt like I was losing something. I did not comprehend that abundance was an energy flow — not a thing that you could lose. And so, I was a very lackful person who did not give very much to others, because I was overly concerned about my ‘budget’ — and, not surprisingly, my life yielded relatively limited results.

Niko and Esa.

I also want to make this very clear — and it’s something that your question points to directly: generosity and money are not the same thing. Giving does not need to involve money. Giving is more about the energy of what you are doing and creating and the intentionality of it, rather than any monetary value. When I started my giving practice, I did not start dishing out $100 bills to everybody I met. In fact, I started by buying lattes for random people at coffee stands. I think I’ve mentioned this before… but I’d be driving around in my police car at 2am, and I’d pull into a 24 hour coffee stand, and I’d buy a coffee for the person behind me (or at least put $10 on their tab)… and then I’d drive away — feeling absolutely giddy and excited about what I had done. I never told anybody that I was doing it, but it would make me practically buzz with energy. It felt reckless and freeing compared to how I had lived most of my life… which was restrictive and closed off from the flow of abundance. Suddenly, I was sending a very strong signal out into the universe that said: there is enough for all of us!

The most important part about giving is not necessarily what you give, but how you give it.. and how you feel when you give it. Here are some things that I’ve given over the past few years that had nothing to do with money:

• Once, I wrote a really nice postcard with a bunch of inspirational affirmations on it and put it on a random vehicle in a parking lot. I’m honestly not sure why I did it — I just felt overwhelmed that I needed to put a note on one particular car in the lot - ha!

• I write kind letters to people all the time… I take time to handwrite letters and let people know how I feel about them. Sometimes, I will paint watercolors for people and hand-letter quotes onto the watercolors and send them as gifts.

• I bake cookies for people! I love to bake, and this is a way that I can go the extra mile and let people know that I care about them. I bake cookies for my employees on most Fridays and I also give them to people who have worked on construction projects at my house. Sometimes, I will even surprise the construction folks and cook them breakfast sandwiches!

• I perform my violin at my friends’ weddings as a gift. This is something that I’m normally paid over $1,000 to do (if it involves hiking) — and, if I have a friend who is getting married, I always offer to play the violin. They don’t have to accept the offer at all, but I always let them know that I am happy to do it for them.

• I loan people gear! I own a lot of backpacking and hiking gear — and I’m lucky enough to be able to share it with other people. I know that it’s challenging to get started in hiking and backpacking, so I always make sure that people know that they can always borrow gear from me if they want to get out into the backcountry! So many people helped me cobble together the right pieces of gear in the beginning so that I could start venturing outside, and backpacking changed my life forever. Helping others start their own journey is the least that I can do. It also frees me from the idea that the gear is ‘mine’ — and allows me to let go of attachment to ‘stuff’ and freely give of it to others — because, I truly believe, that it makes the world a better place when more people are outside.

• When people place orders for Kula, and when they take the time to write notes in their orders — I always try to find ways to go out of my way to either write back to them and/or give something unexpected, if possible. I can’t always do this (because I don’t pack all of the orders these days — which is probably a good thing - ha!)… but, sometimes I still get the chance to do it, and it always makes me feel incredibly excited knowing that some folks are going to get some unexpected gifts. This past weekend, I had to unexpectedly go to the office to pack up some orders, and one of our customers had written a note about an adventure they were headed out on… they even had a cute name for the IG channel they had started to document their adventure. I was so excited for their excitement, that I designed them a little logo and made them a custom Kula.

Now, some of these acts of generosity do involve money (i.e. making a Kula Cloth is not free), but none of them involved directly donating cash or transferring money to an organization. And yet, what would be more valuable to somebody? Would somebody rather have $25…. or would they rather have a completely one-of-a-kind surprise Kula Cloth designed for their adventure that they weren’t expecting? I might be biased, but I’m really hoping that the excitement that they feel from this gift will be worth far more than $25… because it was more about acknowledging something important and meaningful to them — and about cheering them on in their own life, hopes and dreams.

Cinder, sleeping in her salad container.

Napolean Hill writes, “You give before you get.”, and it’s completely true. When I was afraid to give freely — I didn’t receive much… or, at least, not much more than what was expected. As I’ve learned to let go of the idea that anything is really mine, and as I have devoted myself more and more to the practice of intentionally giving… every single day… I can honestly say that I have received far more than I’ve ever given… and yet, I don’t give to somebody else because I need or want anything at all. The most important part of giving is that you do it because you want to do it. You do it because you want to express abundance and love towards another human being. You do it because it feels good to let go of attachment. You do it because it feels go to be a part of the infinite-ness of everything that is swirling around us. There is so much freedom in giving, because when you can really give something to another person — with zero expectations at all — you place yourself into very profound state of connection with the all of everything. The signal that you send out to the universe is very strong: There is enough for all of us. As I give, so I will also receive.

Niko

As you start a giving or generosity practice, start small. You don’t need to start slinging dollars anywhere. You can donate your time by volunteering with other organizations… or donating your creativity or skills… or finding a way to acknowledge others. Get creative, and see what ideas and inspiration come to you. As you begin to give… you will discover that things will start to shift and change in your life… and you will be able to give more and more and more. The universe, in its benevolence, wants to give and also wants you to receive. As we participate in this reciprocity, you will see that you become part of a beautiful cycle — where the universe is simply giving and flowing… easily and endlessly — and you have the opportunity to be a part of that. Even now, on the days when I feel that old, sneaky sense of lack trying to creep back into my mind — I don’t do what I used to do… which was attempt to hoard what is ‘mine’. Instead, now, I know that when I’m feeling lackful — the best thing I can do to open myself up to the flow of abundance… is to give again. As I watch things begin to shift and change, I am reminded about what a beautiful gift it is to have the chance to live in this world and give of ourselves to others.

Friends — I hope you all have a beautiful week. Thank you for being here and thank you for being generous with your time as you show up to read my words every week, it means so much! I am wishing all of you infinite peace, abundance and joy.